We are now in the process of learning what God’s love looks like. We are breaking off the lies that we’ve been accustomed to believing for so many years. The lie that we have to earn the love of God through our works. Yet, God’s love is unconditional. The lie that our self worth is based on performance and other people’s opinions. Yet, God created us in His image and we are children of God. The lie that we are defined by our circumstance. Yet, our identity is complete only in Christ.
Through all of this, I’ve personally struggled with not being where I want to be. I want so badly to learn these truths, believe them and live them out. I am learning so much that I have experienced information and emotion overload. The pressure I have put on myself to be more is too great. I am my biggest critic and I have found myself sinking in self condemnation for not understanding all that I am learning.
So, it is time to relax. I have been encouraged and filled by those around me. I am taking a deep breath and I am breaking off all of my own unrealistic expectations. I am allowing myself to be where God has me, in this very moment. I am choosing to embrace this journey that the Lord is leading. He is the One leading. Not me! I hope to begin understanding that more and more each day. I pray that I will begin losing my independence. The independence I have from God is wearing me out. I am looking forward to every upcoming opportunity to become more and more dependent on God.
Thank you Lord for your abundant grace!
Janeen Messner shared this poem with me by George Herbert about our human rejection to love and love’s gentle insistence. It is beautiful and reminds me of the way our Lord pursues us with His love.
“Love bid me welcome
Yet my soul drew back
Guilty of dust and sin
But quick eyed Love, observing me grow slack from my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning, if I lacked anything.
A guest, I answered, worthy to be here.
Love said: You shall be she.
I, the unkind, ungrateful?
Ah, my dear, I cannot look on Thee.
Love took my hand, and smiling did reply,
Who made the eyes but I?
Truth, Lord, but I have marred them,
Let my shame go where it doth deserve.
And know you not, says Love, who bore the blame?
My dear, then I will serve.
You must sit down, says Love, and taste my meat.
So I did sit and eat.”
