The process of giving my life to Him, surrendering . . . it’s a continuation. I see my depravity and selfishness. Then, I realize how incredible His love is. This notion of clinging to other things is often subconscious. I realize it through events or conversations and am baffled that I have once again given in to my selfish nature. And I ask myself why on earth I would do such a thing, for all I want is my Savior!
I am astounded over and over again that His love never changes. I find myself in awe every single day that He whispers to my heart, “Even now, render your heart.”
“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love . . . –Joel 2:12-13
I know that the purpose of this trip is to reach this lost and dying world . . . to set the captives free. Truth be told, I am a captive to many things. How can it be that Jesus is using this trip to reach my soul? I knew it was possible, but a part of me wanted to give of myself – – for others need this love more than I.
No! I need it just as much!
My journal is overflowing with awe. I can’t get enough of this Love! Suddenly the simple truths that I have been learning for ages have become real and extraordinary. He makes all things work together for my good. He hears my prayers. He gives me everything I need.
This all may sound “hyper spiritual,” but no, I have had an encounter with my Creator. He is tearing down walls. He is making me new. He is burning my fear in the pits of Hell. He is so powerful.
Relinquishing distress and clinging to Hope . . .
I lack the words to tell of my Love for the King.
You are endless, Yaweh.
I can’t get enough of Your presence.
