DISCLAIMER: I am fine.
Recently, I have been urged to pray more. I must be honest in saying that I haven’t been following through completely. Sure, I pray. I pray when I wake up for a quick few. I press in during our hour-long morning worship time in the church. I pray throughout my days as things come to mind and I see need. I say a few words to the Lord before I crash on my thermarest in the evenings. I pray…
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” I came across this passage roundabout last week. I’ve read it many times previously, but this time I was convicted. It IS the will of God for me to pray without ceasing! “God, I am feeling closer to you than ever before. But I still want to be closer. I want to be in constant communication with you. I want to be so in touch with your Spirit that I am constantly listening. Always aware; always ready to what you are calling me to.” This has been my recent heart cry.
One of my roommates, Rachel recently lent me “Prison to Praise” by Chaplain Merlin Carothers. Oddly enough, Carothers mentions these very verses a few times. He fully concentrates on the idea of praising God through everything. Not only does he stress praising Him through all circumstances, but he also emphasizes thanking him for all things. Countless times throughout Scripture, God mentions that we should do this. Thanking him for the cancer, thanking him for the sunny day, thanking him for the red light. Yes, we should even thank Him for these things. And then as I read the final few chapters of this book, I was permeated by these words, “To continually praise Him means a steady decreasing of self and an increase of the presence of Christ within us until with Peter we rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.”
Ok, so my story…
I was beginning to feel sick a few days ago. A sore throat and some sinus problems were inflicting. Then last night I went to bed sweating, yet freezing with chills up and down my entire body. I eventually fell asleep, however I woke up at 1 am. My chills were gone at this point, but I had a wicked headache. I can’t even begin to describe the terror. My thoughts got the best of me and I began to think that maybe I had a tumor. I then let my mind wander even farther. I was preparing to be rushed to the hospital and flown back to the States.
I remained awake. For the next few hours, I went on several bathroom runs, listened to my ipod, and lay praying. I put a baby wipe on my forehead in attempt to cool it down, for I was burning up. I propped my head up a bit more, thinking I could get my blood to flow in a different direction. I wanted it gone. 4:30 am rolled around. Yes, I was awake all this time. At 4:30 on the dot, I heard God tell me to get on my knees. I did it. He told me to speak in tongues. I complied. He told me to pray aloud. I hesitated, not wanting to wake any of my five roommates. How could I hesitate? I did it. Head pounding, I began to thank him. Yes, I thanked him for my headache. I thanked Him for everything that came to mind. I prayed for my family. I prayed for ministry. I prayed to know Him better. I thanked Him for the time. The prayer was pretty brief…shorter than I expected it to be. I fell asleep with in a quarter hour.
If God allows me to have a headache to bring me revelation, so be it! I love Him so much…because He loves me. I watched the documentary, “Furious Love” with my team tonight. “There is nothing we can do to make God love us less and there is nothing we can do to make God love us more!” How reassuring is this! I want to spend time with Him because He longs to spend time with me.
Daddy, I love you so much. Thank you for being my very best friend! Thank you for being my teacher! Thank you for your love! I will never know anything greater in my life.
Goodnight, my friends. I pray that you will feel embraced by your Father as well. Know…truly know that He loves you no matter what you did today or 25 years ago. There is nothing you could ever do to earn His love. It’s already there…just waiting…
I am feeling a bit better. Today was rough since I lacked in the sleep department. I am still not up to par, but I ate fish and popcorn and drank Coke tonight…all brought to our room by our contact’s family.
Go with God . . . He goes with you.
