Last Wednesday, I drove the 12+ hours to Gainesville, Georgia to attend a conference at AIM headquarters called Stirred. It was a chance to meet with alumni, staff, friends of AIM and participate in an amazing worship experience led by Jonathan David Hessler. I registered not knowing whether or not I would actually attend because I was jobless and was only saving to go to a wedding that same weekend. Yet I could tell God wanted me there for a reason.
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The conference began Thursday evening under a huge tent. Clint, one of the key speakers for this event, asked us to invite God to meet with us there. He said that if we needed to ask God to be our Healer, then ask Him to be so. If we needed Him to be our Father, then ask Him to be that. As Clint went on…the word “friend” came to my mind. Now, I’ve been very blessed with the life that I have in Dallas…but I’m not making friends or haven’t visited with old friends yet. I’m still keeping a lot to myself. I’m just very friendless these days. So that’s who I asked God to be for me…”God, I need You to be my closest friend right now.” Not only was I physically exhausted from the drive and lack of sleep for 2 days, but then even my heart felt heavy. I felt like I was supposed to keep giving, but I didn’t think I had anything else in me to give out. That’s why I was there.
Jonathan led us through a time of singing with pure hearts in His presence. I love music, so I’m not sure if you understand when I say that I like songs the way they are…because then I can sing along to them and know which lyrics are coming up next. But when you’re making up songs as you go…it’s about creativity, and sometimes trying to not sound awful. =P But there in that tent, one lyric came out of my mouth, “In Your eyes, it’s only You and me.” It’s ALL that was coming to me. I probably sang that line over 50 times…and then I couldn’t remember it. Instead, all that came out (along with tears) was “aaahhhh”. That’s it. One note. And YET, as I was belting that note from the depths of me, it was as if I heard God whisper back, “I understand you.”
My one note chorus had no English language to it. Here I was giving God just one note and a lot of baggage. Despite that, God was telling me that’s all He wanted, that He understood everything that was poured into that one note. It was as if my heart had it’s own language and He was the only One meant to get it. I mean, how does that even happen? The last line I wrote in my journal that night reads, “How beautiful this all is to me.” Indeed…how mysterious and beautiful all of God is to me.
So an encouragement to any of you who are friendless, or weary, physically tired, anything…even if all you have in you to sing is one note of “aahhh”….sing it. Because I believe in that one note, God alone understands You and will reveal His power and strength to you. It’s sufficient to carry you through til tomorrow. And then tomorrow, you sing whatever comes next.
Fall in Gainesville, GA is gorgeous!!
