The seasons have changed, and so have we– Death Cab for Cutie
While the leaves in Southern California have not changed colors, the Starbucks cups have and that’s as close as we’ll get to shifts in weather. That, and it’s socially acceptable to wear a scarf below 80 degrees. While we can see physical transitions in the weather, it’s the invisible transitions in life that are the tricky ones. You can’t see it, but can feel it all around you. It’s horrifying and yet incredibly beautiful because you know you can’t control it, you just have to let it be.
I never went to college, I devoted my life to the local church right after high school. As I progressed in my journey from student, to intern to staff member, each season had its own challenges and rewards, but all had the same comfort of community and security of a familiar church building. Going from a church staff member to missionary, that’s territory I have no clue how to navigate. Because of my lack of understanding, I found myself cozying up to this mentality that none of it matters. These meetings I’m in don’t matter because I’m producing things I won’t see. These people won’t matter because I won’t see them every day next year. This work I’m doing doesn’t matter because who will be around to see it?
The “this doesn’t matter” mentality is a dark and slippery slope with symptoms including passive aggressiveness, a crappy attitude and a lot of eye rolling and I was catching every single one. I found myself thinking “my brain is here, I’m physically here, but my heart is somewhere and someplace else.” So I broke down and did two things, prayed a lot and talked about it with a trusted mentor and great friend of mine (by the way, everyone should have one of these, surround yourself with great people who call you out on your crap and make you better is a life win). After I wiped away a few tears and tossed away the crumpled tissues after truth was presented to me I realized two things:
- Bring people closer to you, don’t push them away as you transition out of someplace. Invest into every relationship you can while you’re still present. Make memories, go out with friends old and new. Write thank you cards and treat people to a coffee. Serve people endlessly, you can never ask “How can I help you?” too much. Go to that birthday dinner even though you would rather stay in and watch Netflix. Say “yes” to lunch and go deep with people, truly invest into them and not just see them.
- Be in every single moment. When you’re at work, be at work. When you’re at home, be at home. When you’re out and having fun, soak in every moment. Be present, your phone lighting up with endless notifications will still be there when you’re alone. Don’t take the moments you’re in for granted, look at your surroundings and be with people that you love and value.
When I’m out on the field, I can guarantee you the nights that I will be home sick I’ll be thinking about the memories I created with loved ones, not the Facebook notifications or the likes I got on a picture. It’s important not just for me that I stay present, but for the people around me. It’s important that they feel like I’m not furthering myself away from them, and that I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty as I develop the relationships around me. I’m still here, I’m still present and I’m still going forward.
Off to make more memories-
M
$2,500 to go so I can launch in January! Thanks to all who have bought a scarf!
On November 11th, (11/11) I will be hosting a fundraiser where you can partner with me
by giving $11 on that day. Every penny helps, and I couldn’t do it without all of you!
