October 12, 2011
He was around 60 years old. He had gray-white hair styled in somewhat of a mushroom cut. Around 5'6" I'd say. He was a good 40 pounds, maybe more over weight. His attire was a little ragged and dirty. But the thing I remember most, his eyes. He had some of the most beautiful, captivating eyes I have ever seen. They were a gray-blue mix and just jumped out at you. I was enthralled by them and just kept looking at them, I was jealous of their beauty. Then I looked past them and tried looking deeper. There was so much,… hopelessness in his face and his eyes distracted me from the true man behind them. I wanted to know more, why he felt this way, what he had gone throught that had gotten him to where he is now. I seeked more information, trying to retrieve it through his outer appearence, trying to will the information out of those gorgeous eyes of his.
"Marina, tell him that I love him."
Uhhhhh, wait, what?
"God loves him."
Haha you're funny! No way am I doing that, people will think I'm crazy!
"You've always said you don't care what people think, now is the time to prove it."
Really, NOW?! I don't want to do this by myself, if someone were with me here then I could!
"I'll be with you."
Thats different!
"If you don't start doing this now, you won't have the optimum experience when you're on the race, you can't hold back just cause you're scared. You'll miss out on so much."
Alright, alright, I need your strength, cause I don't know how I'm gonna do this… Can't I just give him a note? You know start with baby steps?
"As long as he knows."
I grabbed my notebook wrote "God loves you " in big letters and riped the page out and folded it. I gripped it in my hands determined to complete my misson. The bus pulled up to my stop, I stood up, shaking like a leaf and my feet started moving and walking…… in the wrong direction. I kept trying to tell my feet to turn around but, no dice. I failed. I started walking the little ways home and felt completely defeated, apologizing to God over and over, totally destroyed that I didn't do it. Something so little, yet could have ment the world to him, changed his life maybe, even just a little light that there was something more, something better up ahead.
"Next time darling. I believe in you"
