Hey guys! Part two is here!
Now, I want to ask that you share this blog carefully and that your heart is in the right place when reading and sharing. I also ask that you give me grace. Again, give me grace because I do not have the perfect words, but my intentions are that God speaks to you as you read and that hopefully it brings things to life for you as far as mission work goes. Warning: I am vulnerable in this one also.
The staff at Bella Goose is made up of Alumni World Racers, students and some women who were once part of the sex industry. The ladies that were trafficked and work at Bella Goose are graduates that have completed a program to finish school (like the GED in the states) and are now able to move forward into college. Bella Goose is a coffee shop that is based in Wisconsin, the name literally means “Beautiful Lead”. They love creating community, creating leaders and just loving people. (Check them out here: https://bellagoosecoffee.com/pages/our-mission). They truly are a beautiful group of people. This is where things really shaking up my EVERYTHING.
You see, what is so special about this location in Angeles is that it partners with an organization that rescues women and their children from the sex industry. The organization ministers to them, holds meetings for them, holds worship sessions and gives away a free education, to no matter what level to the rescued women and all of their children entirely for free. It is truly God’s work on Earth. The week we were there Team Goose had the opportunity to help with their ministry and do bar ministry for two nights. We were maybe 5 minutes walking distance from Walking Street. This street is a closed off street of nothing but bars, strip bars, “massage parlors,” short stay hotels and restaurants that cater to men and women from all over the world. Our team had to walk through this street every day multiple times a day to get to the coffee shop from the church we were staying in. I never thought anything about the bars back home, but these were different. The girls of all ages standing outside cat calling you, the mama-sans that are clearly in charge of them, the older men holding the young girls hand. It was hard to walk and not pray, honestly that was what I did. I’ve always secretly felt like saying “Praying” online was meaningless and sometimes empty words, but when you truly pray for someone, when you truly are praying to a God they don’t even know, actually praying to God is so much more than you could ever do.
I’ll be honest, I had no clue what was expected of us when we were asked to do “bar ministry”. Turns out I actually had to go in. My first time inside a strip bar was that week in Angeles. We received training and cultural training as far as what is ok, how to be safe, how to give yourself away and how to properly love the girls and the people we spoke to. You see, when you strip religion off and just leave yourself and your relationship with Christ you learn that the point is love. Love is the reason you were created and love is the reason you live and you serve. This week I learned that I needed to love every single person on that Walking Street. I needed to love the boy who pretended to cry so I would feel sorry for him and give him money, I needed to love the girls who stood up on the stage and danced for the men, I needed to love the men who were my dad’s age and threw money, I needed to love the women who were in charge of the girls and I needed to the bar owners. HOW!? How can someone love someone else who has done so much wrong and literally hurts humans for a living?
Jesus did it, but I am not Jesus. I alone am not capable of loving every single person I encounter because I believe it is wrong to put such little worth on the life of such a young girl. I believe it’s wrong to manipulate and blackmail someone into the sex industry. How am I to love such people?! The first word of this paragraph is the answer. Jesus. I said I ALONE cannot do it. Jesus gave us The Helper, the Holy Spirit to search for when we need help or counseling on How To. So how did my first night go? Well, I prayed. I put on some makeup and went out with Team Goose to the bars. We worshipped before we went out and kept asking God to come through. My prayer was this, ” Jesus, I need you to do this because I can’t.” Literally, I couldn’t. I wanted to walk into the bars, turn off the music, ask the girls who wants out and just get them out and solve all their problems. I couldn’t do that without hurting more than helping. I walked through the street up and down asking the Holy Spirit to take charge of my thoughts, my mind, my heart, my speech.
So as I sat there at the table with all the girls and the owner staring at these four Americans I prayed for help on what to do now. God singled out one girl to me. Her name is Shirley. She didn’t want to be there. I called her down and bought her a drink. She didn’t want it. (This is what we have to do as part of ministry if we want to respect the owner, not give ourselves away and respect the girls’ jobs.) I tried to make small talk and asked her if she grew up in the Philippine, she said yes. She made it a point to tell me that she was half American and half Filipino. I asked her if she wanted to visit the U.S one day. She flat out said, “No.” In all of the 7 months at this point, I always encountered people who praise the U.S and want nothing more than to go and live in the U.S. Later that night I asked Josh, who works at Bella Goose with Laura, why they were so serious about it and why she became so sad when I asked that question. He told us some girls live a generational curse of working in the sex industry. They mentioned that men will buy a girl for the night (or Shirley’s mom) and then leave the Philippines and then voila, you have a child who never knows her dad and is stuck in the same generational cycle of forgotten children. I will never forget the look on her face. Josh gave Shirley a card for Bella Goose so she would be able to get a free coffee and pastry and then we paid and left the bar. These cards are for the girls at Bella Goose to know which girls to talk to and minister to safely at the coffee shop. Shirley and her two friends took cards and were happy to know they could get free coffee. Shirley broke my heart, she’s 25 and has to work for herself and her baby doing something she can’t get out of on her own. This is the life they live.
This is also what it looks like for us to plant the seeds. What we did was show them they are humans, we are looking at them and we see them with love. What we did is love them like Jesus loves us. I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life when I think that I should stop praying because I am ashamed of what I have done and Jesus won’t love me. Just like the healthy don’t go to the doctor the sick do, is how we need Jesus. The people who feel shame, the people who are not loved, the people who are broken, these are the people that God loves anyway. When we do something that makes us go into a downward spiral, that’s when we need to pray to God to help us stop ourselves. So, what I am saying is that we went to the places where Jesus isn’t talked about, we planted a little seed in the girls hearts and then the girls at Bella Goose will water the seeds.
We walked outside and there was a group of people gathered around a man. I was trying to wipe my tears as I looked around. There was a lot of people gathered, very carefully around this man. Making sure I didn’t look like I was seconds away from loosing it, I saw what was going on. The people were surrounding an older man who had a little boy by the hand. The people were asking him in English where he got the boy. The people were asking him where he got him and he just stood there looking at them with a blank stare as he stuttered. The little boy looked Filipino, the man did not. I don’t know about you but if someone accuses me of my child not being mine I would defend him, tell them to get away and keep walking. Not this man and not on Walking Street. A few feet away there was a wall of men in police uniform, doing nothing. It’s easy to say in anger that you would rip the child away from him and tell the Police to do something about it! So then why did I walk away? When we hear about these things on tv we threaten and say “I don’t know what I would do to the man if I ever saw that!” Not here. I couldn’t save the boy, I couldn’t take on this man, what if it is his son? What if the police are in on it and I get arrested? What if we give ourselves away and ruin the ministry we are working for? So many not good enough reasons of what not to do, so many things that could go so wrong if I said something. I walked away guys, I WALKED AWAY. This is why I say that this week changed how I view myself.
I walked away from a situation that I felt so strongly for. Why? Because I am not out here saving lives, I am not out here fixing the world. Did I want to punch the man, take the kid and run away? Yes, one hundred percent yes. However, I couldn’t. I still pray over and over again and ask God what was his purpose for putting me in a situation I cannot do anything about. God tells me one thing over and over and over again, “I need you to love anyway.” I still think about that day and feel like I should have done what I felt like doing, but I am reminded to love. I am reminded to pray for the man and for the kids who are sex-trafficked. I am reminded every time to pray for the people who cause so much pain in children who later grow up to be men who feel the need to buy children. I am reminded every time that my faith in God has grown because I can love those who cause pain. That maybe just maybe, the love that I showed them, the seed that I helped plant will grow and one day they will never feel the need to buy love.
My week at Bella Goose has been one of the most impactful weeks of my life. It was a week where I had to choose discernment, I had to choose to look like Christ, act like Christ and love like our father loves us more than ever before. My week at Bella Goose taught me that I can. I can do all these things no matter how hard and awful it felt. I will never forget the stories, the girls eyes, the experience and the family I shared in Angeles. I hope that one day I am able to go back and help once again because God knows that every night you walk through that street is yet another piece that is ripped away that God has to mend back. I am convinced that Laura, Joshi, and all of the girls at Bella Goose are God’s warriors here on Earth.
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Guys! I know this one was a long two-part blog, but thank you so much for keeping up with my journey and thank you for always supporting what God has set on my heart. Please share and spread the word that I am still under-funded and fundraising!
I am only $4,157 away from reaching my FINAL GOAL! I love and miss you all very much! Here goes month 8!
