Where do I begin? Yes I am alive! Marilyn has survived her first month in the bush of Cote d’Ivoire, Africa.
After arriving in Abidjan the next day all my squad split up into teams and we headed to the bus station! Yep, another travel day! A short one though. My team was headed to a little village 6 hours north of Abidjan called Assafou. I had no idea what to expect, and considering I had never been on a mission trip before I had no idea what people meant by “the bush” of Africa. Well, God knew that I had been praying for some grace this first month, and God knows all my sweet spots so I knew he was going to make this month tough but amazing.
After arriving to the city of Bouake my team and I squeezed tightly into a mini van with our two leaders and every single 50lb pack and a guitar and drove for another 45 minutes to finally arrive in Assafou. Suddenly we heard people from afar, it was a chant. I couldn’t see anything because of how squeezed we were, but then I realized, the chanting was from the children in the village welcoming us. I held back my tears as much as I could. God decided to put me in a village with children, one of the biggest keys to my heart. I was so overwhelmed with happiness, the only way to explain it is my heart probably physically melted. My heart turned into mush. Yep. We all wished we could have recorded it, but honestly there are things in life that just need to be felt and cherished.
We quickly learned that there was no electricity in the village, the darkness gave it away, so it was training camp all over again, no biggie. (Thank you training camp!). We rocked our headlamps and flashlights all month long. Our host Ezekiel showed us where we could shower, use the restroom, sleep, eat, and get our water from. All of these were of course very umm…fun-methods. We had bucket showers! (Thank you training camp x2!) We had a room with a hole in the ground in it for showers and a room with an actual toilet in it! Even though it did not flush and we had to pour water in it to flush, a western toilet is a blessing! Like I said before, God knew I needed his grace, so he spoiled me with water. Multiple times I worried of where my water would be coming from while on the field, little did I know I didn’t have to. The women in the village would fill up these giant plastic or metal bins with water from the well and carry them on their heads to us. They would fill up bigger bins and from there we would grab the buckets of water. It was amazing. The water was always cool and clean. We used the water in these bins to shower, flush, and for our laundry. We would drink from the same well but we were not allowed to grab that water as drinking water.
Even in that we were spoiled. The children were always willing to take our water bottles to the well and fill them up with fresh water.
I remember the first time I tried to fill mine up while it was still half full and all the women and children pumping the water immediately yelled “Attente! Attente! Attente! Attente!” Of course, I freaked out and froze. This was good considering “Attente” in French means “wait” in English. I will never forget that. Actually, that is one of the words I immediately learned because of that well. I tried pumping the water once and they yelled Attente! I tried to carry my own water and the children would yell attente, and every time they wanted my phone they would grip it tightly and yell attente attente attente! I was learning Baule and French at the same time and from the children out of all people! My brain was happy. I quickly learned how to love them, naturally. I became “Meh-Weh” to them. Meh- Weh is Baule children language for Marilyn. Guys, I melted every time, yes I did.
This month I shared a room with my lovely Vanessa and lovely Jordan. These two nerds – nerd is a term of endearment if it comes from me- sang Disney songs in Count Dracula accents most nights and other nights we would be so tired we would just pass out! Nightly routines were different each time depending on what was going on during the day. So, we had 5am prayer 4 times a week, outreach/preaching 2 times a week, teaching (preaching) church time twice a week, we also had church one night and Sunday service. As busy as that sounds our schedule was not always go-go-go. This was nice because I learned how to sit in silence and listen to God talk to me. I learned that sometimes there’s an image in your head and it’s God putting it there. I learned that this vision may even be for the person next to you! Truly this was a spiritual experience. It was amazing to live this month devoted to my faith and to God. There was a lot of time where I wanted to be alone but God would invite a child, or seven to sit with me in the silence. I was very pleased each time.
You know how sometimes you just want to un-plug from the world? You want to just shut everything out and leave the world you’re in? Yep, I was blessed with an entire month of that. However, it is different when you want to chose that versus being told that this is what you will be doing for the month. Funny isn’t it? Funny how you can do something when YOU feel like doing it, but have someone else tell you to do it and you are all of a sudden hesitant to do the very same thing. When we arrived to Assafou I realized that no electricity would mean no Wi-fi. No Wi-fi meant no communication. Apparently I had forgotten that this was exactly what I had prayed for before coming onto the field because all of a sudden I felt like this is not what I wanted anymore.
If I’m being honest, I had asked God to strip away anything that would distract me away from focusing on doing His work. I had prayed for an opportunity to leave everything behind and for this year to be able to focus on the now and on ME. In order to do this, I needed to be unplugged from the 21st century and I had to spend all month without talking to my family or bestfriend or boyfriend. At first this was very hard. I wrestled with the idea that because of me my family would be worried. I could not take it anymore and just the thought of my parents thinking they would never see me again hurt me deep deep inside. Here’s the thing, as much as I want to avoid being vulnerable with you all, I can’t. In order for you to understand my journey I am being forced to be vulnerable. My life includes a trauma as a child. My older brother died a few months before I turned 4. This caused a lot of ache and pain in our entire family. This trauma as a child is the reason why my brain ended up wiring itself incorrectly and made me believe that I must take care of everyone before I take care of myself. Because if I take care of you first and provide you with everything you need then you won’t leave my life. God knows this, my closest friends know this. I will put a stop to my life in order to help someone else. I quickly learned that this lifestyle is not healthy and that I needed to find my true identity. I needed to learn that there are boundaries to my giving heart. Life in the USA gets busy, it flies by with distractions and the day to day problems. We tend to forget that there is more to life than being successful. We forget that life is more than just being the best you have to offer, the smartest, the wealthiest, life is more than living your life like you deserve it any less than any of God’s other children, even your brother.
So of course, all this quiet time I was blessed with, was exactly the space that the Holy Spirit needed to squeeze in a question that has wrecked my world. “What does your identity in Christ look like Marilyn?” I have never been asked this in all of my 26 years of life. Woof!! How do I answer this question, month 1 of learning to listen to God’s voice, my voice and embracing AFRICA!?
I’m glad you’re curious too because that’s my next blog.
A video of the village of Assafou coming up as well. I hope that it gives you an idea of what my life was like last month.
God is working in so many ways and I just can’t wait to share every detail with you, I wish I could bring you along.
WAIT! One way you can come with me is by clicking the donate button on my blog page! I am still fundraising and needing to meet my deadlines! Any donation helps and brings me a step closer to sharing God’s love with the lives that I come in contact with. Thank you so much for your support!
