It started with a tree.
I’ve had this very detailed vision of a tree in my head for a while and thought it might be nice to paint it some day. Only one problem: I don’t paint. I haven’t taken art classes since high school and haven’t even attempted anything since a grade was involved. I had no idea how to get what was in my head onto the canvas.
One morning, God asked me to take a risk. “Paint that tree,” he said. “It’s time.”
It wasn’t really a request, but I wanted to treat it like one. I bought the supplies, but with paintbrush in hand, I tried to reason with the Lord. “That’s alright. It can just stay in my head. Nobody needs to see the tree but you and I.” What if I tried and failed? I thought I would rather just live with the question.
But I knew it had to be done. God hadn’t made a request. It was a command.
So I began. I got through the trunk and branches without too much trouble, but I couldn’t bring myself to start on the leaves. They were the most important part. In my vision, they were vivid green and lined in gold. The gold was representative of His love and His calling in my life. I didn’t want to mess it up. I washed out my brushes and set the painting on my nightstand.
And there that bare tree sat for three weeks. It’s naked branches only serving as a reminder of my fear.
I woke up one morning thinking about the season of pruning that I was currently in. It was painful and confusing. “Oh Jesus, when is breakthrough coming,” I asked. “When will it be Spring?” My eyes drifted to the nightstand and as they rested on that bare tree He answered, “Putting leaves on that tree would be a good start.”
Have you ever been in that place of desperation where you are willing to do whatever it takes? I was there. I was willing to do anything to end this spiritual winter, even if it meant facing my fear head on. So I painted those leaves. I was so in over my head!
Ask me to teach…sure!
Ask me to lead…I’ve got some experience.
Ask me to write…I’ll see what I can do.
Ask me to paint…Um, excuse me?!?
It wasn’t about the painting. It was about being in over my head. It was about releasing control. It was about letting the Lord lead me into something that seemed so impossible in light of my own capabilities. I am so thankful that he doesn’t make plans based on my own capabilities!
God does not operate on the linear. He is below, inside, all around, and most of the time Over My Head…exactly where I want Him to be. Whom I want Him to be. A Savior outside of my understanding.
I lead. I teach. I write. I preach.
I sing. I dance. I paint. I laugh.
All for one reason.
All for His glory.
“And the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.” Revelation 22:2
“When we are ankle-deep in water, we control everything. We can swish and walk around and continue to maintain our balance. We can click our heels if we like. We can do ministry our own way…I have learned that you cannot do very much while you are only ankle-deep in the river of God. When you are only ankle-deep, you may still know the Holy Spirit. You may have profound convictions. You may have charismatic gifts. You may see some of God’s power. Even so, most of the time you will be confined to activities you know how to produce and control. You will be walking on your own and relying on your own plans…God’s power and presence are much more powerful than our ability to stand in our own strength. He has deeper places waiting for us than we will ever fully grasp.” -Birthing the Miraculous by Heidi Baker
