To be honest it hasn’t been easy. In all honesty being surrounded by a foreign culture and language with the knowledge that 10 more are on the horizon has been overwhelming. My excitement to love and serve 11 countries quickly turned to fear of the unknown and weariness. I felt guilty that my excitement from my last few days at launch fled quickly as I entered into the real world race. Up until now I have been talking about what I will do for this year in the comfort of what I know. Up until I have been able to call a family member or friend when I doubted my abilities, but now here I was in the Dominican Republic without much of the life I lived before. Although my hearts desires haven’t changed, my flesh was weak. How can I selflessly serve others, I thought, when all I can think about is home?
These thoughts still flooded my head this morning as I woke up on the mountain of Los Montacitos. God’s pure raw beauty surrounds me, yet my heart is still heavy…or should I say my flesh is still weak. As I entered church service this morning my plan was to journal as I sat there respectfully because I don’t understand a word of Spanish. Little did I know that God would speak to me through another language (and a translator). The pastor taught from John 15. Although I didn’t understand all of the Pastor’s message, God spoke.
I have read John 15 many times, but now certain verses caught my eye in a way that hadn’t before. For example John 15:12-13
“My command is this: love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay his life down for his friends”
I have always read this verse and thought of two things: 1. Jesus laying His life down for us, and 2. literally laying down ones life. Today in service God showed me another understanding of this verse. God’s command is to love, but not only to just love, but to selflessly love. Yes my sacrifice cannot even be compared to Jesus’ for me, but for this year I have been called to love by leaving my life. Yes parts of that life should have been left a while ago, but all in all my command for this year is to lay down my life so I can love and love selflessly.
No going to lie this command is daunting, but where God gives a command He also gives a promise.
“You did not chose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name” John 15:16
In conclusion, no following His command is not easy, but God never promised us easy. All I know is that my Father is faithfully to give me what I need. So dear Jesus give me to strength to love and serve selflessly.
*for all who follow my blog, I have very very limited internet access because I am literally on top of a mountain (it seems like you can almost touch the stars) so please be patient and understand I will blog whenever I can.
