So here's probably my last blog about Africa and then we'll be all caught up, sorta. I'm in Thailand now and loving it, but last month we were in Africa in the small country of Swaziland. Last month was a little different in that we were doing Manistry/Feministry where the guys and girls were separated and I was on a brand new all-girls team for a month and living in a small but awesome house with 2 other teams. Community-wise, Swaziland was fantastic. We all just got a taste of true kingdom living sharing the house with 15 other amazing and godly women. I mean, we even had themes for dinner every night as well as dessert (Soupy Sunday, Marinara Monday, Twisted Taco Tuesday, Wake up Wednesday, Throwback Thursday, Fiesta Friday, & Saucy Saturday). It just doesn't get much better than that. On the other hand, ministry-wise, my team and I found Swazi to be pretty tough.
My team for the month- Team (Rest)oration
We worked at a Care Point every day where the kids come to get fed and discipled daily. There was just something in the air there. We would work a measly 3 hours one day and come home utterly exhausted. I found myself numb to the needs surrounding us and just generally burnt out and a bit hopeless, simply trying to get through the day. Existing rather than prospering. Not only that, but while we were there, many of the children stopped coming because of a kidnapping threat in the neighborhood, and when we were there a lot of our energy went into an increased awareness of anything or anybody sketchy that we could perceive that would serve as a danger to the kids.
To be honest. I just wanted to get out of there. Leave and never look back. Out of sight and out of mind. There was just too much. Too much hurt and pain and hopelessness and darkness. Too much widespread suffering. Too much to come in contact with and go on with my life as normal. And then I realized what a doofus I had been all month. I had missed all the things that really mattered. I had briefly glanced at the brokenness all around me and quickly turned away, rather than staring it right in the face and offering it my hands, feet, and heart.
Let me tell you about a little girl we named Tina (absolutely no idea what her real name was, probably something with a click in it). Tina was very cute, but only smiled occasionally. However, she knew how to get what she wanted. Tina wouldn't share on the swings on the playground and when I would make her take her turn, she would get off and start bawling, after which an older kid would promptly deposit her right back on the swing. After this, and things like it, happened several times, I started building up a little dislike for this small girl. In my head she became a "spoiled" brat (I know, I know, that's the doofus talking). This little girl who would cry whenever she had the plastic bag she was chewing on taken away from her for her safety. This little girl who showed up everyday in the same ripped up and dirty clothes. This little girl who will, in all likelihood never have half the opportunities as I was somehow luckily born into by no merit of my own. This little girl who will grow up much too quickly and who has probably already witnessed way more suffering than me. Yeah, pretty sure she's not the spoiled brat in this instance.
Tina at her cutest
How in the world could I have missed so much? How in the world do we all miss so much suffering that's happening all around us no matter where we are every day? Because it's waaay easier than living with the pain and once we let it in, we can't truly go back to life as normal. However, God has called us to be people who walk right up to the suffering and confront it with the hope, love, mercy, and grace of the gospel. One of my favorite passages at the moment is Isaiah 61:1-3:
The Spirit of the Lord God is on me,
because the Lord has annointed me
to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives
and freedom to the prisoners;
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of our God's vengeance;
to comfort all who mourn,
to provide for those who mourn in Zion;
to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes
festive oil instead of mourning,
and splendid clothes instead of despair.
And they will be called righteous trees
planted by the Lord
to glorify him.
