My race is coming to an end and many emotions are flowing through my heart. I was thriving in China, I loved it so much. Then I hopped on a plane to the Philippines and my heart turned in another direction, and it wasn’t so good either. I started to feel depressed. I was in a funk and I couldn’t figure out why. Every day was a struggle to keep going. It was a long two weeks.
It’s also flippin’ hot here, so that didn’t help much.
Later on in the month I got an opportunity to visit a ministry in Legazpi City. Its 12 hours away from Manila and my teammate Emily really felt like we should go visit. So, Emily and I went on an overnight bus to another location. It was kind of like a road trip together, but totally different all at the same time. Either way, it was a fun journey with her! The day we arrived the contacts, Dusty and Dawn, took us around the city. They blessed our socks off in so many ways! It was just before dark and we headed up this hill that looks over the city. I step away for a minute and just talked to God. I asked Him why I was feeling so down and not motivated to have the best last month..EVER. I heard so clearly, “Marianne, you are scared.” At that moment, I felt the burdens go away. It was a hard realization. I’m scared of going home. I’m scared of being lonely in this transition. I’m scared of being broke. I’m scared of the changes that happened over the year. I’m just..scared. I don’t have a job lined up yet. I’m walking into the unknown, by faith, trusting that the God of all will go before me and provide.
Mayon Volcano
After I heard the Lord, I knew I was going to be okay. I knew that this is a growing experience. As Emily and I were looking at this volcano, my heart just felt so content. Even though my emotions are crazy, that doesn’t change how BIG God is. Emily is one of my best friends, and she was there with me to talk things out, to listen, and to enjoy the blessings. Since then, the process has been much better. We’ve been so busy with visiting contacts and seeing what God is doing. The people are absolutely amazing here. God continues, daily, to shower His love over me. To assure me that I’m taken care of. I’m so glad to know that God Is by my side, hands and arms wide open, to hug me through the next season of life and He’s proud to call me His own.
That, gets me through all things. His strength and love. He is a good God.
Emily, Kelli, and Savannah. They have also made this process easier. They are incredible friends. They are so much more than teammates. They are my sisters. I am going to miss them very much. They bless me every single day. I love them with my whole heart!
If you think about it, please be praying for me. Pray for my whole squad. Pray for any attacks of the enemy to flee in Jesus name. Pray that we will THRIVE and see the goodness of God every day, even when we get home.
Isaiah 45:2-3
I will go before you, Cyrus, and level the mountains. I will smash down the gates of bronze and cut through the bars of iron.
And I will give you the treasures hidden in the darkness.
I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God is Israel, the one who calls you by name.
