I confess. I dropped the ball on support raising.
I know that Papa intends for me to stay on the race for the whole 11 months, but I reached a place of complacency. I thought that to endure was enough. All I had to do was hang on, pray and trust that Papa will provide, right?!
WRONG.
And you can count on good ol’ James to set you straight.Upon reading James 2:17, I was convicted. “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
My first thought was, “Ouch! Did James really do that? He did NOT just slap me in the face with my faith.” My second thought was, “Yeah, I totally deserved that.”
It’s true. I had been hanging on to the idea that Papa would provide the money for me to be fully funded, but I did nothing. I gave Him no freedom to work in my support account because I wasn’t doing my part. To a certain extent, I believe my idea of enduring quietly exposed more of my lack of trust in Papa and my fear of letting go and falling.
“If I don’t give my all in support raising or blogging, then at least I’ll have some sort of excuse if I don’t reach my goal.” In my head, failing to reach my goal because of silence or inaction is less humiliating and less painful than failing to reach my goal after being vocal and putting myself out there.
I know that that is a lie. I know what Papa wants me to do…FIGHT.
For the second time in one day, James laid another truth bomb on me:
“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” (James 4:17)
I’m thinking, “Can’t I catch a break, James? First you diss my faith and now you’re telling me I’m going against my Papa’s will?!”
You’re right, James. So wise and so convicting. You’re right, Papa. You always are…
Papa commands us to have perseverance (Revelation 3:10), which is endurance combined with the absolute assurance and certainty that He will never be defeated, that what we are striving for is going to happen if it is of God. He brings fulfillment to our dreams because we step out unashamedly with bold faith.
I am so sorry if I haven’t been blogging about the amazing things God is doing in my life and in the lives of those around me.
I am so sorry if I had resigned to being selfish and focusing solely on my race, instead of inviting you into it.
I am deeply sorry if I have disrespected you, my supporters, by my inaction and complacency.
I am COMMITTED to FIGHT.
This is not something I want to do, it's something I have to do.
This vision permeates my life.
This means the world to me.
Here is the thing, God has started a work in me, but I know He is not done. He has called some of us to pray, some of us to give and some of us to GO. I am called to GO, but without you, who are called to give and pray I cannot continue to GO.
I have already been abundantly blessed by everyone and to say thank you to you would not be enough. These last few months have changed me in ways that can not begin to explain, and for those who have already teamed up with me, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.
Vulnerability is scary for me.
I NEED HELP.
I want you all to see my vision for changing lives around the world, and this is my opportunity. If I had the chance to sit with each one of you and pour my heart out about how strongly I feel about this step in my life I would.
LET ME be your hands and feet, JUST as I AM being Christ's hands and feet. YOU may not be able TO GO, BUT YOU can keep me HERE.
I am $3,400 away from being fully funded. If I don't get this amount by March 1st, I WILL be sent home from the race.
By supporting me you are being sewn into every mouth being fed, every miracle we encounter and every person we show love to.
Will you help me Fight?!
