It’s probably only been a few weeks since I have embarked on this World Race process and it has already taken it’s toll on me: emotionally, spiritually, mentally and even sometimes physically.
Like I said in my previous post it seems that there are more people who would like to see me fail at this than see me prevail. At first it is a hard reality to swallow down that people whom you love so much do not share the same heart for missions as you do. But that is how this world is.
When you decided to do something as radical as leave your home, your friends and family, your belongings and “life” in exchange for 11 months on the road from country to country you are bound to run into some obstacles and… people.
The first couple of weeks I had to deal with hearing “that is impossible Mariah”, “thats way too much money”, sarcastic “good lucks”, “I will not support you on this”, “you are going to die out there”, “finish school first then go”, “why are you going to a country that is worse than America?” blah blah blah… you get the picture? Basically a ton of negativity!
I was beginning to break. Emotionally, I couldn’t handle anyone else bashing my dream. Mentally, I was thinking I am way in over my head and what did I get myself into? Spiritually, I was drained by being weighed down constantly by unbelievers. I just couldn’t handle anymore. I just wanted to crawl into a ball and cry for the rest of my time here on Earth. It felt that bad. I was hurting and it seemed like God was letting me bleed out on the operating table, I would sit and wonder: where is my healing?
Then it hit me.
One by one, encouragements starting coming my way. First, from friends I hadn’t spoken to in months ready to bend over backwards to help me raise the money. Then from a fellow World Racer, Keri Reyes, who lives right in my hometown and is launching out in September! God bless her! God sent her to help attend to my wounds. Then at church He spoke to me, loud and clear.
The devil will glorify your obstacles. That sly snake will make your life as terrible as he can. He will make it seem as if it is not possible, he will throw everything he can at you to ruin your chance for a place in Heaven. But you see, the beauty in all this is that God is fighting for me too. He is fighting for my soul and He will win! He is sending His spirit down to Earth to fill me up when I am empty.
I often get blindsided by obstacles and think “man, I did not see that coming!” But the neat thing is that GOD IS NEVER BLINDSIDED. He has been where I am right now, He saw all this coming a very long time ago, He knew there was going to be a battle for my soul, for my journey, He knew all my trials and He already paid the price! He already conquered all my battles for me. He has already paved a path for me. All I have to do is trust and be faithful. Even when I rather be faithless and take things into my own hands, the path I lay for myself is full of destruction and heart brake. The path that Jesus has laid out for me is full of love, growth, reconstruction, redemption and peace.
For all my fellow World Racers and anyone going through life. If I could just give you some advice on how to get through this terrible world, it would be to have hope. Though times will get rough, let the stillness that is the Holy Spirit grow inside of you until you are engulfed in light.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12
“But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breatplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.” -1 Thessalonians 5:8
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” – Hebrews 6:19
Encouragingly,
Mariah
