Training camp summed up into a few words: an eye-opening experience (I know that’s vague, but I promise to unpack that a bit). I am a jumbled mess- be patient with me. 😉
When I received an email from Delta telling me that my flight was canceled the day before I was supposed to be in Atlanta, I freaked, for a moment. Thoughts that ran through my mind: “Am I going to make it” “will I be able to go to training camp at all- especially if I’m late” “If I’m this close, why is God closing doors”? *Disclaimer- I did make it to training camp, and on time even! 🙂 There was no hassle once I got to the airport. 🙂
These are some of the negative thoughts that Satan has placed in my mind to get me to think that God doesn’t know what he’s doing. To have me think that I cannot trust God with my future, desires, or even my plans to follow Him.
This is where I get into trouble a lot-I have this frame of mind that makes it hard to get out of so that I can see reason, but something that I learned a lot about this past week is FREEDOM. Christ has died for us so that we can claim freedom and walk in that. We are FREE from shame and condemnation (especially beings Christ isn’t the one to tell us that we are being condemned). Jesus wants us to walk hand in hand with us, and He does delight in us. (These are some of the truths that really stood out to me over this past week and a half-he reiterated them to me so that I can bless others with these truths).
Was training camp as hard as I thought it out to be, or how others have perceived it? For me, it was challenging in many ways, but in all the ways I didn’t expect it to be.
I genuinely like the idea of camping, being outside, and being around people. Surprisingly to me these are also some of the things that threw me off guard. By day six I was ready to go home. I no longer wanted to be covered from head to toe in red clay dirt (mud by this point), or have it be so hot outside that any form of breeze I cried in thanks to Jesus because it was a relief. I wanted a real shower, toilet, and mirror, but most of all, I wanted my own personal space that I could do what I wanted to instead of being surrounded by a crowd of 40 people. I LOVE my squad- we are made up of different beliefs, personalities, opinions, but most of all- they are passionate about intimacy with Jesus. They want to outwardly express how they feel about Jesus on the inside. I have never been so amazed at how God has put people together the way he has until this last week. We hardly knew one another and right off the bat we were intentionally praying over one another, encouraging each other, and cheering one another on. That is what I call a team. But more than that- a family.
In the midst of being uncomfortable with the different sleeping situations (sleeping under a tarp, sleeping in a frigid/ LOUD “airport”, sleeping in a 5-person tent with ten girls, and sleeping inside my own tent there were also really good parts. I was able to connect on a deeper level with a lot of my teammates, as well as grow more intimately with the Lord as more paradigm shifts happened for me. This experience was really good for me- tons of information and different scenarios that we needed to be made aware of (what happens when most of your team gets sick and you have to all travel to the pharmacy together, etc).
I enjoyed getting to know the Lord’s heart and really learning about the power of the Holy Spirit. I enjoyed hearing that Christ has a purpose for me and that He really does want a personal relationship that allows for vulnerability and trust to be a common thing that we work on. I’ve always viewed Jesus as a fatherly figure and while sometimes that was great, others, not so much. Only because I grew up not having the best relationship with my dad-from my stand point, he wasn’t there as often as I thought he should have been. That’s what has carried over to my relationship with the Lord- my perception that He won’t always be around, that he won’t want to be there when I am being vulnerable. It has been a healing process.
Dad, if you’re reading this- know that there is grace, love, and forgiveness. I hung onto a lot of the hurt for many years, but honestly, training camp has taught me something huge: every person is a child of Gods. He does not remember the things that we have sinned against him for. Let me say that again. All of the wrongs we have ever done- God has forgiven us- even if we haven’t forgiven ourselves. God does not view us in the focal point that is based off of what we did wrong. He looks at us with love in his eyes that shows us that He cares deeply for us- always.
If you’re reading this, you can conclude that I did indeed pass my fitness test (I even had four minutes to spare)!!!!! God provided! Had it not been for my teammates cheering me on, and a wonderful individual who walked along side me to encourage me in my times of doubt, it would have been a struggle. No joke- there is power in numbers, but even more so when they pour love and grace over you.
I am now a proud member of Team Anchor Depths. A group that is made up of six wonderful women (including myself), that Loves the Lord and wants to pursue a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him this year! 🙂 We found out our first assignment: Shalom School in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
I am elated to go to Cambodia!!! This is so exciting!! I have about five weeks left in America– What?! Craziness! 🙂 In order to launch though, I still need $1,800 by Sept 2nd. Would you prayerfully consider partnering with me to make this possible. God is doing big things in this team and I am so excited to have you guys partnering with me and seeing how God is using us! Thank you for your love, support, and encouragement thus far! 🙂
Also- I am going to try and learn how to play the Ukulele while overseas this next year- wish me luck! Also, if you know a song I should learn- comment below ! 🙂
