When life gives you lemons you make lemonade, right? Wrong. We assume we make lemonade because that’s what we’ve always been taught, but what happens when someone shows you that it could be something different?
This month has been full of suprises and unmet expectations. i expected that Cambodia would be hard- full of grief due to the genocide, hard to love on them because of language barriers, and hard to be myself when I’m in the midst of culture shock.
In reality, this month has been challenging, but in ways unexpected, like learning to love my team enough to give constructive feedback (still a work in progress). Or, the fact that many Cambodians are filled with Joy to see white people and have forgotten about the grief of the killing fields (not everyone of course), but this is due to it happening so long ago. Loving them- that has been my favorite part- they are people and like some of the same things as us! It has been an honor to hear their stories, to laugh with them, and to make them feel like a valued person- a large portion of them know basic English, which was a suprise to me! 🙂
I ended my ministry this month feeling refreshed, full of life, and blessed that they loved us and welcomed us into their lives.
My team and I then traveled to Siem Reap where we have been at debrief talking about how ministry has been, connecting with everyone, but most importantly- resting.
During this time I have received some really honest, beautiful feedback that I have deeply enjoyed. It allows me to grow closer to the Lord.
Something that I have learned about myself is that I place a lot of expectations on things- this comes as no surprise to me, but I have learned new things about myself when it comes to expectations. Things like, putting expectations on how the Lord will show up in my life, how my teammates will respond to me, and how I expect people to react to things. When I do that- I put limits on people, places, feelings, and even on God- which typically ends in disappointment.
I say these things, because I’ve had the fear and expectation that Thailand will disappoint me or that I will be burdened by the hardship that I see there, but the reality is that I really don’t know what to expect, other than I know that God will show up. I know that he will be in those hard situations, that he hasn’t forgotten about the women, children, or even the men that my heart is breaking for. There will be a source of joy that I will find in Thailand that will be unexpected, but in the most pleasant of ways and that my friends is something that I am looking forward to!
Tonight is our last night in Cambodia before we travel to Thailand and I am excited for what the Lord has in store for us within this next month. We have an all squad month which means that all 40 of us will be doing ministry and life together and I think that will be wonderful, challenging, but also life giving! 🙂
I would love for you all to be praying for my squad, that we step into our personalities and voices. My team- that we have unity amongst ourselves and that we will be intentional on pursuing one another during this time with the whole squad. I would also like prayer for myself- I serve a loving, grace filled God that delights in me and is a good good father- I need Him to show up and provide about $1,300 within the next two weeks. Please be praying that this need is met- I have learned and am continuing to grow with the Lord and would love to continue to do so.
Thank you all so much for hearing my heart!
Love,
~Mariah
