Hey everyone- i wanted to update you about what’s I’ve been in the process off learning this month…
I have had one of the worst best weeks in this season of my life this week. I have never been so hungry for the word of God before in my life and that has been awesome!! On the flip side of that– I have not been hearing from him like I expected to, as in, he has been super silent… I previously wrote a blog about sitting with the Lord, but this journey he has me on has been way different..
This last week I turned my wifi off on my phone and unplugged from the world and it was the best decision in my life.. I had several hour packed conversations that were the most edifying conversations that I’ve had within the last month, which was amazing! It was a time that the Lord presented himself to me in the form of other people and I just had the ability to talk with them and listen, which is my favorite.
During my quiet times the Lord has just been super silent and I’ve realized he wants me to have faith in the things I cannot control, to really trust him with my life, and to allow him to show up in ways that I cannot explain other than-it’s God. It’s been frustrating because I expect God to speak, I expect Him to give me wisdom and discernment, and instead I have heard nothing. He has just been super silent. When I’m in a trying time that’s when I expect him to talk more- at least to affirm or encourage me, and neither of those things have been true of God for me this last month. He has been telling me that I’m worthy of his love and that he does delight in me, which has been amazing, just not what I was looking for…
I have been faced with a challenging situation this last month. I have been faced with the question of “is my race over- does the Lord want me to go home?”
Back story.. I came into the race having a certain amount of bills that would be due each month, knowing that I have made commitments to these companies for payments. I knew where I was at with my spending money, and I thought I was going to be ok. I was dead wrong. I am faced with the fact that I have enough money to pay this months bills and that is it… some things fell through, and that has been hard to process through. As an adult I know what it looks like to take responsibility for the things I need to own up to, so I’ve sat with the Lord for hours over the last week and have asked- is Thailand where my journey ends overseas?
I have zero peace over that situation. I know that God has more planned for my life, more things to grow in, and more things he wants to claim victory over. I have prayed and prayed and prayed over this situation and what my next steps are, and my only conclusion that I’ve come to is: there is more to come. I have faith that God will provide for me and show up in ways I cannot take credit for. I have faith that God will show me where he wants me, but it’s incredibly challenging for me not to be able to take an action step.
I say this to you guys for two reasons: 1-I want you to know where I’m at with the Lord and why things are hard, but 2- if you feel called at all to donate to my personal finances I would be incredibly blessed and overly thankful. I have about a week to see where things land, but I’m deciding to have faith that God will show up in ways unexpected.
I still do have my deadline to meet by November 30th- only $770 left in order for me to reach my $13,000 goal!! Whoop whoop!!
If you feel called to donate to my personal finances, please drop me a note and I can explain how you can do that! 🙂 if you would like to donate to my trip- please be sure to hit the donate button at the top of my blog homepage!! 🙂
i will be posting a vlog soon- keep your eyes peeled! 🙂
