My days are crammed. My heart is breaking. My voice is being used.
The Lord has blessed my team and I an incredible amount this month. We are living in Johannesburg, South Africa with an amazing, well ran organization called Impact Africa. We stay in a home with a full kitchen with appliances. We have an actual dinner table with we eat all our meals together rather than our beds, or just chairs in a circle like the past months. We have couches that our helping our bottom’s recover from the weeks and weeks of only having concrete and no padding to sit on. The list goes on, and the Lord has orchestrated this place just for us this month. At first, I had a very difficult time accepting this blessing, for I felt I didn’t deserve it, but the Lord knew. In a very broken, hurt, and dangerous city, He has protected us. Our base is safe and beautiful. The gorgeous tall trees, a myriad of different bird species such as peacocks, chickens, and other strange sounding birds that begin to crow at 3:30am. We are safe during bed shaking thunder and lighting that lights up the entire property sort of thunderstorms that occur at night that occur right above our heads.
This ministry runs an internship program which have 10 different 17-20 year old American ladies and a gentleman that help their different branches whether it is the baby rescue homes, preschools, the high schools, and working in the community such as the squatter camps. Their open arms and hearts have been so refreshing. I have adored working along side the interns as they are in a similar life journey as I am as a racer. Dedicated a year away from home to do mission work: to discover our identities in Christ and our life calling. They have given us ‘new’ clothes to wear on Sunday morning. They have lent us their curling irons and straighteners to do our hair on fun outings. They cook delicious meals for us and make us cake for the heck of it. They let us sit in on their classes each week. They invite us in, they love us like no other, they let us come along side to further the Kingdom of Christ.
In the beginning of the month, I was a mess. I was home sick, I was exhausted from a month of living with 59 other people. I was in need space and quiet. I was in need a different pace. And the Lord came through, I was nervous and hesitant at first because I heard that ministry was going to be evangelizing and door to door ministry… as an introvert, whose doesn’t like speaking in front of strangers, I was dreading what was to come. I fell on to my knees because I needed an attitude adjustment, I needed rest, I needed confidence, and I needed boldness. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to do so on my own. We had training for a kids club with songs, skits, bible verse and then an alter call. God somehow made it workout so that I had been assigned to share the gospel. We watched the interns do it once then we had to do it. And when it got to my turn, I froze, I panicked, I cried. I let Satan rule my confidence, frustrations, and emotions. I was embarrassed, I gave up, I couldn’t believe that that happened. As I reflected, processed and went to God for help. It was just a two days later that I received in e-mail from one of my squad leaders responding to my journey marker (weekly check’s in) that read “As you step out of your comfort zone, it will get easier and easier, and God will be pleased with your steps forward. If frustrations and emotions come, rebuke them, and remind yourself that The Father is please with you and your voice as you attempt to further His kingdom!” I instantly screen shot it and knew I had to hold this close in the days and weeks to come. This month has been hard, but wow have I seen myself grow. I have prayed for others. I have shared the gospel (!!!), even saw a woman come to Christ after I shared the gospel with her. I have given out scripture. I have encouraged those around me. I am so excited to see the growth that has occurred this month and have been affirmed by those around me. My confidence is growing, my boldness, and my voice is becoming louder and used more for His Kingdom. I am incredibly thankful for this month and what it did to my own faith and my own self.
I have two weeks left here in South Africa and then I’ll be flying out on the 8th to Vietnam for November. I am so thankful for this journey and this huge adventure that God called me on. He affirmed every day and this is exactly where I am to be even when it’s hard to see that. Thank you for your prayers, for your encouragement, for your blessings. I am so so excited for this journey to continue on- to bring all these changes home. For I already am a new women in Christ and I know it will become more permanent as my relationship becomes more and more intimate with God.
