Remember the old nursery rhyme Rock-a-by-baby? The one where the baby is “safely” rocking in a tree and the branch breaks causing the baby to crash to the ground because that branch that was holding the cradle finally cracked- those nursery rhymes are quite violent if you think about them- anyway that’s kind of how I feel right now. I feel like I’ve been rocking through my life and God broke my branch- don’t worry He caught me.
Traveling to the airport in Bangkok, leaving my 5th country in as many months, I haven’t stayed in one place for more than 3 ½ weeks, I haven’t seen my family since I left and will not see them for another 6 months, I haven’t had a conversation with most of my siblings since I left, my nieces and nephews will all be a year older by the time I get home, and I’m not getting any younger. For the first time since embarking on this thing I felt like I had put my life on hold coming on the race. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
On the layover in Istanbul I was able to verbalize this to a fellow squad mate, who is also one of the older ones on the squad and could relate. Being able to verbalize it helped me realize how I was feeling and I knew I couldn’t go the rest of the race feeling like this. It was still on my mind on the bus from Belgrade to Novi Sad, Serbia.
The last thing I want is to lose my ambition half way through; so I started praying about it. And I immediately felt God say “your life is never on hold when you’re in the center of my will”. Wait, what! You know those things you know, but as you’re rocking through life you tend to forget, and then you’re reminded with a bolt of lightening (or your branch breaks)? Yeah this was one of those moments and I will forever remember that piece of Serbian land we were passing.
When you’re where God wants you to be you will never have your life “on hold” because going/being where God wants you is your life and it will never lack fruit or purpose. I may have put off certain things to do this. Then again… maybe this year will bring a vital part of what I need in order to fully live out the next season of my life. My life isn’t on hold. This is my life. And the best part is I know I’m where God wants me to be
