Hello hello! This blog is way past due. After training camp, life got super busy and I had a really hard time deciding to sit down and process through everything that was Training Camp because there was just so much to process. Anyways, I finally have taken the time to go back through all of my training camp journal entries and want to share with you some of the biggest things that TC taught me.
#1 – This trip isn’t about this year, it’s about the rest of my life.
This trip won’t start and end when I leave and get back. This trip is the beginning of my kingdom journey. This next year will have a huge impact on the rest of my life. I will learn things about myself, grow my relationship with the Lord, and learn so much about the rest of the world. I will make friends in many different countries, walk through rough seasons alongside my team and squad, and experience both joy and pain that at this point I can’t even imagine. I will learn how to share my faith and the Gospel with others. I will see heartbreak that will nearly break me, and spread the joy of Christ wherever I can. When I get back, the experiences and things that I have learned will stay with me for the rest of my life and have an impact on my future decisions. This is me choosing Jesus. And I hope that I keep learning to choose Jesus every day for the rest of my life.
#2 – We’re all messed up but we all have gifts.
We are all a mess. We all make mistakes. We all get caught up in sin. We all can be mean and hurt those we care most about. But, we are all made in the image of Christ and He has given each and every one of us gifts. God will use us. We need to be open and ready. We all have a different role in the Body of Christ.
#3 – Together = Kingdom
Coming off of the last point, we all have different roles and gifts. That’s why we work best in community with other believers. We can take all of our individual gifts and come together as the church/body of Christ. When we come together, we can do kingdom work in community 🙂
#4 – Jesus said come as you are.
This is a big one for me. And I think it is for a lot of people going into missions. One insecurity I’ve been facing leading up to this trip is that I’m not good enough. Who am I to share the Gospel with others? I have this image in my head of who a perfect missionary would be and I just don’t fit the criteria. But guess what? Jesus isn’t looking for perfect. Jesus wants us to come as we are. I have heard the clear calling on my life to do this. And if He is calling, He wants me just as I am.
#5 – God knows what I need even before I do.
Time and time again during training camp, God reminded me that He’s got my back. He knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it. Just one example from camp was on the second or third day I was feeling really down. I was thinking about leaving for 11 months and how badly I’m going to miss my family. It was like I was homesick just thinking about the future. I was going to go back to my tent to journal and process, but I was scared that when I got there I would just break down crying, leading me to be more caught up in these negative emotions. Just then, my two friends that I met studying abroad in Australia (who are also doing the WR the same time as me, we are all just on different routes) came up to me and started chatting. We ended up having a nice, long conversation and I came out of that time feeling like my soul was completely refreshed. I am so thankful for those friends of mine, but also for God and His timing and provision. I know the next year is not going to be easy, but this was a reminder that God is looking out for me.
#6 – I have symptoms of unforgiveness.
I’ve been hurt deeply by people in the past. Going into a night of discussion on forgiveness, one person specifically came to mind. But I was like “Oh, I got this. I’ve forgiven that person.” …. well, then the speaker began to go over symptoms of unforgiveness. And I could resonate with almost every single one of them. That caught me off guard. And then the speaker used an analogy that I will remember for the rest of my life. I won’t be able to share it as well through this blog, but the basic idea was that if you have a bucket worth of pain/hurt/things that need to be forgiven, but only forgive a small cup’s worth (the surface level stuff), then you still have the rest of the bucket sitting there. Anyways, I realized that when I forgave this person, I didn’t actually forgive them for everything, and I’ve been carrying around a lot of hurt and pain. I realized that I still have some things to work through. Forgiveness is not saying that what that person did is ok, it’s saying that I’m not the one meant to judge and I’m going to give this over to God.
#7 – We don’t know how to sit in pain.
This may sound kind of funny after my last point, but hear me out. Our society and culture has made it so pain is a bad thing. We just want to fix it or cover it up. When a friend is talking about their pain, we are quick to offer up solutions. Now, I’m not saying that we should let pain take over our lives. What I’m saying is that we need to stop and challenge ourselves to go to God with it. We need to sit in the pain and and ask God why we are feeling the way we are. Some journalling prompts they gave us at TC that may be helpful to you as well are: (1) What is the most dominate painful emotion I’ve felt today? (2) What caused it? (3) Have I felt it before? If so, when? and (4) God, what do you have to say about this?
#8 – In order to fight against shame, we need to confront it.
At TC, we also talked a lot about shame. Shame is feeling bad about who we are, we think there is something wrong with us. And often, when we think there is something wrong with us we just want to cover it up and hide it from the world. However, to fight against shame, we need to address it. Secrecy, silence, and judgement fuel shame. The solution = vulnerability. Trust me, I know that’s a lot easier said than done. It’s still something that I really need to work on.
#9 – The importance of community.
Community has the power to change us and the people around us. I’ve lived in community in the past, and from personal experience, it was the best time of my life. I cannot wait for this aspect of the race! People speaking into our lives is so important because they have a different perspective. Even though community can be extremely fruitful, it can also be extremely challenging. With community comes conflict and difference of opinion. At TC we talked a lot about how to work through that, but I’m sure you’ll see more blogs from me in the future on this topic as we dive right into 24/7 community.
#10 – This is where God wants me.
The most important thing I learned at TC is that this is where God wants me. Over and over again it was so clear to me that this is the right thing. It can be hard sometimes when people around you are questioning things and worried for your safety. Not going to lie, some of their doubts were starting to make their way past the wall of security and assurance that I had. So, TC was a great reminder and encouragement to just keep chasing after Jesus.
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I appreciate each and every one of you! It’s less than a week now until I’ll be heading to Launch, and in less than two weeks I’ll be living in Costa Rica. This is getting real.
As a reminder, there are four ways you can follow me on this journey:
- Subscribe to this blog! I will be posting on here regularly and can’t wait to share with you everything that God does over the next year!
- Sign up to receive my newsletter. I will be mailing out a newsletter at least once a month that will highlight what I’ve been doing and include some prayer requests. If you’d like to receive that, comment below and make sure to include your email!
- Sign up to be a prayer warrior. Each month I will sending out specific and detailed prayer requests to those who wish to be prayer warriors for me and my team. I’m doing it by month/country, so if you’d like to be a prayer warrior, comment below which country(ies) you’d like to pray for and be sure to include your email!
- Subscribe to my YouTube channel! I am hoping to video blog the entire year! So, if you’re like me and much prefer watching videos to reading blogs, be sure to head over to my YouTube channel (Maria Bayles) and subscribe! You’ll get to watch my team and I through the ups and downs of a year as missionaries.
