It’s a little (or a lot) past the beginning of the year and it’s been awhile since I looked at this blog to add and edit before posting. Re-reading this tonight really reminds me how powerful worship is. A kind of worship where the only motive is to bow down to my God and ask for nothing in return. I often find myself always coming to God with something I want or need, always seeking for him to show up in big ways but what he’s been teaching me is that intimacy looks like more than my wants and needs. It looks like coming before him, worshipping him, spending time with him and putting aside my flesh needs/desires. What I’m realizing is there is so much more to a relationship with God than the moments of desperation or the fleeting moments of our emotions.
I love worship. I love art worship. I love prayer worship. I love dance worship. I love speaker worship. I love spontaneous worship. I love bonfire worship. I love it in all forms. Worship is a way I connect with my Dad the most. It’s so interactive and it allows me to take God out of the box society puts Him in.
When my worship leaders told our squad we were going to do a 24 hour prayer time entering the new year my first reaction was, how am I going to last that long? I don’t think I had even done an hour long prayer, let alone 24 hours. I was concerned. On New Years Eve I drank SO much coffee with the house moms to prep myself for the 11pm start. I was practically jittering by the time we started.
I’m so thankful for this night for the worship aspect but also the redemption. New Years Eve is that holiday that everyone goes out and parties. It’s just what you do if you are following the world’s rules, and for so many years I was. So, for the first time in a long time I wasn’t out partying, I was out worshipping my God instead! So many years, so many parties and so many wounds. Never have I felt so at peace, so perfectly fulfilled and felt so so so loved at a party then what I felt that night. God reminded me once again, the spot in my heart that I was desperately trying to fill can only be filled with Him. Not things, not status, not boys, just Him.
We prayed into the night as a squad and then there was a speaker playing music all night long. I grabbed a spot by a wall and by the speaker for the least amount of distractions, our living area isn’t that big for 47 people so it was a little tight.
I closed my eyes and started to sing along, started to feel every lyric and felt the Holy Spirit fill me. I have never been so lost in worship then in that moment because the next time I opened my eyes it was 2 in the morning. It was the most radical worship moment of my life.
I would close my eyes, focus completely on God and it was like it was just Him and me. It was incredible. Like wow. Time flew by and it was honestly life-changing. Getting so lost in worship that the people around me fall away and it is just you and me. Me and my papa. Saying every word, proclaiming it to him. Praising him with all my heart. Falling on my hands and knees crying because of the love you have for me. The incrediblely saturated love that I felt.
A little over a week (dec/Jan) now I’ve been starting to feel his love. His overwhelming love. The kind where I have to stop because I start to cry. His love is so big I cannot comprehend it. Like wow. The God who created the universe loves me this much. Wow. I see his love so much in creation. Walking to the guesthouse and tearing up because I see the scenery, the sky and I wonder how can this be. How can the PERFECT GOD who created all of this love me soooo much that he is willing to look past all of my mistakes and human behaviors and just purely love me.
I have a hard time crying to be honest. I just don’t cry on demand especially in front of people. It’s something I want to grow in because I think tears can be very powerful. What I’ve learned on the race is when I cry, the Holy Spirit meets me in those moments.
I remember singing word after word just overwhelmed by his presence and the ever-lasting love he had for me. I started to cry, like really cry. Tears streaming down my face as I worshiped my God. God gave me the word saturated for 2019. In that moment I felt it for the first time. Wow. Thank you for soaking me in your love. God, thank you for that word and I’m so excited to see what is to come.
I stayed up all night long and not once did I feel tired enough to go to bed, I felt so alive in Christ. I can’t describe the freedom I feel but if you have ever seen me worship God, the way I dance shows it. I rejoice in this freedom because only 5/6 months ago I could barely lift my hands in worship.
It was one of the best nights of this race and I got to spend it with God and a group of great friends who were up for the exact same reasons. Shoutout to Team NO SLEEP!!!
It was around 4 in the morning and it was freezing (remember harbu chulule is 8,000 feet above sea level). I don’t remember how it was decided but one moment we were all worshipping in our living room and the next we were outside worshipping on our patio beneath the stars. We listened to “So Will I” and throughout the song it reminds us that all of creation worships God and if they can we can. It was such a beautiful moment, dancing, singing at the top of our lungs and proclaiming truth to our Father in heaven. That was the first time I truly danced for my God, swirling in circles laughing from joy vibrating off my body.
As the hours went by and the sun started to rise I thought to my myself, “I’m not even tired”. I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to last the night but I realized that early first morning of the year that God is my strength, that the Holy Spirit AWAKENS ME.
I got to end that very special night of worshipping my God watching the sunrise singing around a campfire we made.
Around breakfast time I started to pray because I was about to go into ministry where I walk all the kindergarteners that live at HOPEthipia to school and then teach the whole school. There are at least 75 little ones we teach in this little classroom and I absolutely loved teaching them. They were little balls of energy who would attack your hands as soon as we entered the school. On a normal day it would wipe me out but today I was, “okay God this has to come from you”. I prayed for energy at least 100 times. Not once, did I feel tired, weak yes, tired no. I mean I was dancing, jumping around, screaming the ABC’s with a bunch of 5 year olds and not once did I feel tired. Now that is the Lord’s strength.
I remember walking home with Elena and Kirst, so filled with the Joy of the Lord as I shared how I WASN’T tired!!
Guys I just want to pause and talk about my incredible teammates, they get so excited with what God is teaching me always! Kirst, Elena and I loved teaching these kids so much, it really felt straight out of Kisses From Katie (read this book if you haven’t, so good!!).
Anyways, that whole day was asking for energy as I did my ministry and then around 4pm God spoke through others on my Squad to rest. That I will still be with Him as I rest which is so true. God has really taught me about rest and how important it is, especially in his presence.
That night we finished our last hour of 24 hour prayer sharing what God did. A lot of people shared words God gave them which is so cool to hear and like I said, mine was saturated.
Hearing what God did in so many lives in these past 24 hours reminded me how many lives can be changed at once. I was over here experiencing so much of God but so was my sister right besides me, which I think is so cool!!! It’s a reminder that we are seriously never alone because of our almighty Father but also our community. Just like people go through the same hard moments we also go through the same good moments, that night seeing all my fellow cheerleaders as we cheered for each person as they experienced God in a new way and in these words are promises from what is to come from God. HOW COOL!
All in all it was such an incredible experience and I am so saturated in God’s love and I can’t wait to see what else that word means.
Something God has really been challenging me lately with is, this is so easy to do on the race with 46 other people chasing the Lord but will you do it when you get home when you are just with me? My answer was mixed and so what I’ve been working on lately is doing things with the squad but also doing things just Him and me. Rejoicing in my incredible community, but also prepping for home.
Definitely the BEST way to enter into a new year and I can’t wait to carry on the tradition??
Thank you for reading, God bless you all!
FUNDRAISER UPDATE: ADOPT A MONTH!
SEPTEMBER (TAKEN!!! YAYAYA!!!!!)
OCTOBER (TAKEN!!!!! WAAHOOOOOO)
NOVEMBER (TAKENNNNNN!!!)
DECEMBER (taken!!! Whoop whoop!!)
JANUARY (taken!! THANK YOU!!!)
FEBRUARY (TAKEN!!!!!!!)
MARCH (NEEDED!!!)
APRIL (NEEDED!!!!!!)
MAY 31st flying into Florida
June 3rd flying H O M E ! !
——————————————————————————————————————
Ways YOU can Join me on my Spiritual Journey:
1. Pray. I will need a multitude of prayers ranging from strength, wisdom, clarity, love, joy… The list goes on. Whatever your heart desires and feels right, pray. Here in Ethiopia we have a little boy at the orphanage who’s legs don’t work, pray healing over his body please!
In Nicaragua pray for jobs, most of the country is unemployed and it’s really taking a toll on families, pray for God’s provision to these people.
- SPREAD THE WORD! Tell everyone about my trip and show them my blog.
- SUBSCRIBE! When you subscribe you will get all notifications when I post on my blog about my trip and any updates!
- If you would like to donate to me still, please donate directly to me and not World Race. I AM FULLY FUNDED but I am now raising money for flights!! I need to buy 3 plane tickets for my trip home on June 3rd and for PSL which is a week long “after the race” conference in Georgia at the end of June. Thank you for everyone who has donated already, it’s been an incredible journey!
Venmo me : Marguerite-SanMartino
