At the end of the day, do I trust God to take care of these people?
Especially after we leave.
In
5 days we’ll board yet another plane to head to our fourth country. And
while there’s excitement that comes with that, there’s also a
realization that we have to say goodbye to the Philippines.
And that, is going to be the farthest thing from easy.
In
all honesty, the Philippines has been the first place to really steal
our hearts. We’ve fallen in love with these people. How can you not
fall in love with kids that jump into your arms as soon as you step
foot in the community? How can your heart not break for every person
you see who doesn’t eat on a daily basis? There’s so much need.
How can we leave without it ripping us apart?
But back to the original questions.
Do I trust God to take care of these people?
Is love enough?
On
Friday night, my friend Caleb and his team were heading back to their
community to visit a family that had been evicted from their home. And
not only had they been evicted, the people that kicked them out of the
community tore down their home and put the ruins outside the gates of
the community. This woman and her family weren’t allowed to come inside
the gates anymore. And no real reason was given for why this happened.
There was something in me that wanted to go with Caleb and his team
to visit this woman that night. We took clean water to them, but we
weren’t sure if there was going to be anything else we could do. Caleb
talked with the woman, Nanette, about her situation. We gave them the
water, prayed for her and her family and were about to say goodbye. I
had my head turned the other way while Caleb and his team hugged
Nanette. He got my attention and asked me to hug her.
As soon as I put my arms around Nanette, she broke down completely.
She cried on my shoulder and chest for a good 20 minutes – all the
while asking why this was happening to her family. She didn’t
understand why today, why had they torn down her house, why were they
not even allowed in this community they called their home?
And then, she kept saying “thank you” to me. I couldn’t say anything
back. I really had no words for her as she cried and cried out.
All I could do was hold her. It didn’t feel like enough, but was it?
Crack number one in my broken heart.
Twelve hours later, I was standing in our own community with a
mother and her newborn that we were meeting for the first time. It was
our medical mission day. We had taken two nurses and two dentists with
us into the community to hand out medicines, pull teeth, and take care
of minor medical issues.
One mother named Jocelyn came to us with her one month old son,
Jason. We didn’t have to ask why she was there. You could see the issue
clearly, and before she even spoke or I heard her story, my broken
heart was already experiencing crack number two. Jason has a severe
cleft lip and is obviously malnourished because of it. At one month, he
weighs only 5 pounds. Nurse Katie held Jason while our team prayed over
him. And once again, I could barely speak. Tears started forming in my
eyes and I couldn’t open my mouth to say a prayer. I listened as my
teammates fought hard for this little one and held out my hand to touch
his tiny little body.
After we prayed for Jason, we pulled his mother into the circle and prayed for her.
“Hope. God, give her hope and a knowledge that you have her under your wing.”
Again,
I could feel the tears forming as all of us prayed over her. After we
finished praying, Christine shared the gospel with her and cried as she
told Jocelyn how much God loves her and her son.
Now what, God? I’ve seen two sides of heartache in less than 24 hours.
What do you want me to do?
Do I trust God enough to take care of these people?
Do
I realize that in some situations he may be calling me to take action,
while in others I fulfilled my part in simply holding a hurting and
broken woman?
Is love enough in these situations?
Does love win in the end?
