Making God your default focus..
I wonder “why” to many questions that run through my head. I’ve been through many obstacles since I’ve started this trip. I’m not exactly sure to why that is. I guess it’s because before I started this trip I publicly shared my dreams and desires to come back as a completely transformed woman. With that being said I’ve been walking through freedom. You’d think saying a few prayers, sharing personal struggles with others would do the trick and bam you’re changed! Nope with this comes becoming selfless, learning to not judge others before you know them, serving others with an honest heart and being vulnerable (that’s a tricky one.)
I had to surrender these things to The Lord I had to pray to see others as Jesus sees them. I never really thought I had an issue with these things until I came on the race, living around so many different personalities.
Since I’ve been surrendering myself and making changes, my body has been attacked with sickness. I’ve been having horrible sharp pains in my body since the end of February. The pain has taught me to be strong, it’s taught me to be real with myself and with my emotions. It also showed me just how grateful I am for my life in America that it took me being in Albania to realize how good I have it in America.
I am grateful I am learning to overcome my thoughts and doubts through this hard time. Me, personally this trip has been hard I’m not sure if it were those prayers of being completely transformed, break my heart for what breaks Gods heart or the prayer about being Jesus’ hands and feet. Sometimes I’m like why?!? This is hard! But wow the past 5 months of The World Race has changed me. No one said it would be easy. Yes we do dirty work here. A lot of manual labor, lots of painting, lots of building and of course people ministry. Something I’ve learned about being a missionary you can do the tasks/jobs given to you and get them done OR let the work change you.
For example: I’ve never plastered before until this trip, it was hard and kind of sucked but I changed my mindset and made it into a game with my teammate and that day I learned I was an overcomer. I learned I CAN DO THIS. So because I adjusted my mindset I learned a lesson I’ll remember forever and as silly as it sounds it changed me.
