One prayer that I have pretty consistently prayed is, “Lord, take me deeper.” But do I know what I ask? It is so easy to make bold statements without understanding what we are actually saying or asking for. We throw out Christian phrases that seem to be trending among Christian culture, which are typically followed or preceded by some sort of emotional high. But I wonder what the Lord hears when we make these statements. When we are stripped down to the depths of our heart in it’s raw form, what is there and what does it say about the authenticity of the words that come out of our mouths?
I have just been so emotionally exhausted lately. I’m sure there are many of you who can relate to being in that place of having no idea what the Lord is doing. It’s that place where you have no choice but to trust that the Lord is in control, that He has a plan, and He knows exactly what He is doing. It’s that place where the Lord says it’s time to bring to the surface past hurts and insecurities that you didn’t even know were there— And let me tell you, it sucks…
…but it is so worth it.
It’s in this place where you have no choice but to cling to the Lord. As I have been clinging to the Lord through this rough season, He reminds me of my prayer and says, “This is what going deeper looks like.” Going deeper means vulnerability, dependency, and letting go. It means confronting all of those things you tried pretending weren’t a big deal and didn’t really affect you “that much”. Going deeper is painful, but it is so worth it. It is so worth it.
During this time it is easy to get frustrated at God. Why does this process have to be so hard? Why can’t he just heal me overnight like He is capable of doing? Why can’t He just give me an ounce of clarity or an understanding of what He is doing?
And then He responds, “Because this is what going deeper looks like.”
God loves us enough to let us go through seasons of pain and trial if that is what it takes to push us closer to Him. He loves us too much to let us sit in the bondage of our past. Therefore, He is willing to put us in hard circumstances that expose our insecurities, so they can rise to the surface to be dealt with. Our God is not passive. He loves us so much that He will fight for our attention and freedom. And as a result we experience healing, freedom, and greater intimacy with our Savior.
Therefore, we get up when we don’t feel like it, we worship when we don’t understand, and we press on because He is worthy and the best is yet to come. God is as good in the desert and wilderness as He is in the garden.
This is what going deeper looks like.
