29 days. It seems like such a short amount of time, doesn’t it? I have been fully committed to the World Race for 29 days and let me tell you they have been so enlightening. I have experienced every emotion from fear and doubt, to peace and pure joy. I have felt love and hope, but also experienced times of worry and anxiety. I have had tremendous highs and treacherous lows. All in the last 29 days. My purpose for this blog isn’t to inform you of everything I have experienced in the past month, but to share with you my heart on what God has been revealing.
My entire life I lived everyday under the notion that I needed the acceptance of the people around me to be able to accept myself. I would judge how I felt about myself that day by how accepted I felt by my peers. I would equate it to living life on a rollercoaster. On a day where I felt included and acknowledged nothing could bring me down. I would strut around like the bees knees and feel on top of the world. But on a day where the inclusion stopped and acceptance was nowhere to be found I would sulk back into my shell. Retreat to the pity party I threw all too often, and let the unworthiness consume me. I truly believed that I had made it through that part of my life. I told myself I was stronger than that. When I found and rededicated my life to Christ I was sold out. But as time passed I started to fall back into my old self. The thought of Gods never-ending, never-failing love was fading from my mind and the thoughts of what my peers were thinking of me were setting back in. On days when I would feel unaccepted I would try to brush it off. I would tell myself that God is greater than this and that He is all I need. But was I listening? Was I believing the things I thought I knew to be true? That I am redeemed, that I am a child of the one true King, that God would have sacrificed His Son even if it was to only save me. I think we all know the answer.
29 days may be a short amount of time, but it’s not too short God. In the past 29 days God has begun to show me how much of my worth I still try to gain from other people and how little I gain from Him. God set the bar of my worth to Him at unlimited, and for me to try and match that from anyone of this world is setting myself up for another pity party. In the past 29 days God has truly shown me the value He sees in me and YOU!
When I joined the World Race I expected to share the gospel with other people, but I also expected God to use me in ways I never thought possible. I truly believe God wants to use my story of self-doubt to reveal His worth and beauty in you. So if you’re reading this you’re worth it. You’re worth Gods love, time, blessings, and forgiveness. You may not be accepted at school, at work, at home, or even at your church, but you’re accepted by God. Your worth to our savior is unlimited and unmatched, so stop looking for acceptance in this world.
“To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:6 This verse for me sums up our acceptance in Gods eyes. I’d like to invite you to take Gods hand with me and get of this rollercoaster once and for all.
Because we’re worth it.
Stay blessed,
Marah Laramore
