I came into the Race mostly free of expectations – except that it would be a full year of intimacy, community, and mission. This helped me to be more flexible, to live in the present, to take each day as it came with joy, peace, and contentment.
But I had a lot of expectations for Africa specifically. I grew up hearing incredible stories about life on this continent from my grandma and her siblings, whose parents were missionaries in West Africa pre-WWII.
And once I was on the Race, I heard stories about all the things people had experienced in Africa: parasites and being confined to the same space for days on end; wifi deserts and non-stop preaching (I dread public speaking); treatment of women and ‘Africa time’ and rank smells from strange food and unwashed bodies.
To top it all off, Africa would be our ‘B-Zone’ continent, which is how AIM refers to the season after the excitement has worn off, the homesickness has set in, and motivation levels drop – the bottom of the valley, if you will.
So all of these thoughts were drifting in and out of my mind when we arrived at the airport in Honduras, and THEN I was asked to be a squad leader, meaning I would spend my first month in Africa in training. I knew nothing about training and not much more about what it could mean to be an SQL, so I started to wonder. And then think…and worry. And somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, I began to set some expectations.
We’ve all heard the idea that if we set our expectations low, we can’t be disappointed. Set ‘em too high, and the bar will probably hit you on the head leaving you sad AND bruised. If you set low expectations for your life, you’re guaranteed happiness.
I would argue that when we set expectations, whether high or low, we create for ourselves a mindset of how our experience will be, which is good in some cases, but it can also set us up for failure.
I think we often create expectations to control; at least, I do. When I have an expectation, even a ‘low’ one (which I define as an expectation not set in stone), I have a framework to operate in. I have structure, and comfort, and a plan.
But when I walk into a situation with an expectation, I am rarely satisfied. I compare my experience to my expectation and whether the thing turned out ‘good’ or ‘bad’, either way I’m left with a little less peace because I spent so much time working up the situation in my head and wasn’t able to live in the moment because I was too busy running analytics on whether or not it met my expectations.
I’ve now been in Africa for approximately 40 days, and this is the one thing I want to tell you about my time in Malawi: take your expectations, and lower them. Lower them all the way to the ground, and leave them there. Walk away forever.
Then, pick up faith. Faith that we serve a God who keeps his promises, who provides for His children, and who operates in the unexpected. These are expectations too, I get that. But they’re expectations relying on the only perfect and perfectly faithful being in the universe. In Hebrews 11, verse 1, we learn that faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and hoped for in the Lord, the God of Israel.
When we put expectations, faith, trust, or hope in man, we will surely be disappointed. If we put these things in the unchanging God of the universe, we will never be disappointed, for He can accomplish exceedingly, abundantly, immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine.
In my short time in Africa, I’ve had to let go of my expectations and replace them with faith.
I had to let go of the expectation that every day would be a profound cultural experience, and enjoy every experience I did have, like shopping in an open food market or eating Christmas dinner with our host family.
I had to let go of the expectation that I would know all the tricks to being a great squad leader and blow everyone away in the first month, because leadership takes time and LOTS of practice – I have more peace about that now, and trust that God is going to use me where I’m at and grow me through this position.
I had to let go of the expectation that communicating with everyone at home would be impossible…it hasn’t been easy, but the Lord has blessed me with some great conversations and an enormous amount of patience…thanks, Malawi wifi.
Some of the things I expected coming here did come to pass, both good and hard. But beyond that was growth in faith and trust and peace as I started giving my expectations to the Lord and started every day fresh – after all, His mercies are new every morning.
This month taught me to let go, and let God. To set my expectations aside so that I can truly live in reality. To trust that when I put my faith in the Lord, I will never be put to shame.
I would love to read about your experiences with expectations in the comments or an email – how have they shaped your life? Have you ever had to ‘let go and let God’? What are your thoughts?
As always, thank you for reading, and I can’t wait to hear from you!
-
ML
