Dear friends,
After much prayer and consideration, I have decided to end my time on the World Race. While in Swaziland month 5, for a number of reasons, I had been torn between whether or not to stay on the Race. At that time, my emotional state was not one fit for making such a decision. But after much healing and revelation in South Africa month 6, and my team finally becoming family during UH month here in Botswana, I am in a much better place. Upon learning of my mother's current health issues (skin cancer, emphysema, and heart problem), I have felt the Lord moving me to help jumpstart her into a more active and healthy lifestyle and to walk alongside her as she maneuvers her next steps. This was not an easy decision, but I am filled with a strong sense of peace about it. It has, after all, been a very long journey (as my hair, skin, and feet will show) and neck/back pain, arthritic pain, the heat, and mosquitoes have continued to wear me down (have I mentioned how much I LOATHE those things?!). I honestly believe the Lord is sending me home and has brought me to a place of readiness.
Can't believe it? Me neither. I had signed up for "11 countries in a 11 months" and that is exactly what I had intended to do. This was, after all, a dream opportunity to love "the least of these" while growing deeper in love with my Savior and in my understanding of who He is and who He says I am. What is it that He would call me daughter, friend, beloved, chosen one? What does it look like to truly live, and love, like Jesus?
The journey I have completed over the past 7 months has been utterly beautiful. Unexplainable, really. If you have been following along, you know that it has not been without its challenges, nor has it been without God's unbelievable grace and blessing. There were days I literally thought I was dying, times I wanted to demand team changes, moments when I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, and let's not forget the infamous monkey invasion. I have laughed, cried, screamed, shivered, itched, groaned, wept, shaken with anxiety, giggled like a 5-year-old, stood in awe of the Father's creation, and sung praises from the deepest part of my being to the One who deserves ALL praise in EVERY circumstance. This experience has altered the way I see the world, the way I see the people around me, and the way I see myself. Most importantly, it has altered the way I value my relationship with the Lord. As I go forth into whatever lies ahead, not knowing what is in store, of these things I am sure:
I am a daughter of the most high God. I have been fearfully and wonderfully made. I am beautiful (even with every ugly scar on my worn out body). I am worthy of pursuit. Through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, I have been washed clean. Sin and shame no longer bind me to darkness and the light of the Spirit dwells deep within me. Apart from Him I am nothing, but with Him, I have the ability to walk in power and strength, and to live in FREEDOM. My life is not about me. To live for myself is contrary to the Lord's will, and choosing to do so is actively refusing the abundant life that comes with following His lead. But nothing, not even that, can separate me from the love of Christ. I am His and He is mine. Forever. He has claimed me as His own and I will live every day of the rest of my life in thanksgiving of WHO He is and HOW He loves. God's not finished with me yet! There is so much more to this story He is writing, the story of my life. I will wait in expectance of the Lord and trust Him for all my needs. I will try to be present wherever I am at any given moment. I will not wish for a day to pass, but pray for strength to get through it and wisdom to learn from it. I will live joyfully. Life, after all, is meant to be lived. And a life without joy is not really living.
I know that some of you may be disappointed, and others are ready to welcome me with arms wide open. But to ALL of you who have loved and supported me through this journey, I cannot thank you enough for the experience of 7 countries in 7 months. No, it's not 11. But it doesn't need to be. I believe God is moving me into a new season and I am ready. Here I am, Lord, send me. Wherever, whenever, and to whomever (even if it's to my mama). I am yours for the taking.
With Love (and real hugs coming soon),
Mandy
