I've sort of been imagining what this whole "becoming a missionary" thing would be like for, oh, about the last 20 years! I wondered how I would find the perfect organization, what the application process would be like, how it would feel knowing I'm officially going somewhere to serve the Lover of my soul. Fundraising – oy! What would THAT be like? I have painted many pictures in my mind of how this process would look and the excitement that would overcome me. After graduating with my Missions degree in 2010, I felt more theologically and relationally prepared, ready to tackle the world…only to sit patiently (or IMPATIENTLY) seeking the Lord's direction and timing. People would ask why I wasn't in Africa yet (and some just assumed I was already there, becoming bewildered when they realized I wasn't), and one person actually told me I wasn't living with purpose by doing my ordinary job instead of serving the Lord, what, with a thousand mission opportunities out there, I should be well on my way! In all honesty, sometimes I, too, tortured myself with this kind of negativity. It got to a point where I thought, perhaps God doesn't want me to go, maybe He has other plans. I began to lose my passion and fire for reaching out to the nations with Christ's love and at times, I had almost forgotten that call that had once, and for so long, captured my heart.
Looking back, I truly believe that God allowed my passion to fade for a time, out of his love for me, so that I would no longer be painfully disheartened by His lack of sending and my lack of going. I knew I desired God's will for my life, and that whatever that looked like, I was on board, even if that meant NOT doing cross-cultural ministry abroad, but yet a part of me (and probably a bigger part than Id like to admit) was extremely frustrated at the thought! I realize, now, that He had a very specific mission opportunity in mind for me and it would take the absolute perfect set-up to bring it to fruition. FAST FORWARD 2 YEARS– The Setting: a bumpy school bus in San Raimundo, Guatemala. The Characters: a grouchy Me & a sweet fellow servant whose name I WISH I could remember. For the sake of this blog, we will call her Sarah. The Dialogue: S- "Can I sit here?" M- (reluctantly, while I selfishly wanted my own seat) "Sure…(moments of silence)…so is this your first missions experience?" S- "Actually, my husband and I just got back from the World Race." M- "What the heck is that?" S- "An 11-month mission trip to 11 different countries." M- (mind blown) "WHAT?! That's a real thing!?" *And thus began my love affair with the World Race and the spiritual journey that would lead me to apply for the biggest adventure of my life…
I never would have pictured it happening like that. I couldn't have planned it even if I had tried. And although it took me a good year of going back and forth and praying for a clear "sign", I know that God has placed the WR on my heart and nudged me through the process this far, as I've timidly proceeded forward. I thought it'd look like a giant leap of faith, but it's been more like a whole lot of baby steps 😉
Overwhelmed by the excitement and fear, the simultaneous feelings of both preparedness and inadequacy, and the gleeful squirminess that come with "becoming a missionary," I am overjoyed to say that I, MANDY KEARNS, am OFFICIALLY a WORLD RACER! It feels a lot different than I had expected. But good different. Different in the way that makes you dependent on your Father as you tread unchartered waters : ) In this case, real water. And air. And the land of 11 countries on 4 continents. HOLY SMOKES. This is really happening……….
