As I sit here with a giant mound of bracelets to my right, a trash can overflowing with the plastic strips from self-adhesive envelopes to my left, a phone with texts about t-shirt money and garage sale donations sitting on my lap and several Excel spreadsheets with addresses and t-shirt orders open in the background of my computer, I'm realizing just how easy it is to get caught up in fundraising and monetary goals and forget that the real goal isn't $16,285. The real goal is so much bigger than money and so much bigger than me and my fundraising capabilities. The real goal is to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those who have been forgotten by the rest of the world. The real goal is to love the least of these. The real goal is to give up everything I have to gain everything God has for me.
There are two songs that have become kind of anthems to me to motivate me and to remind me that I'm not completely insane for doing this (Keyword: "completely"). One song says:
You call me out upon the water, the great unknown, where feet may fail
And later:
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
It repeats that part 6 times because that's probably how many times you need to sing it before you really start to believe it even a little bit. Trust without borders. Think about that for a second. We tend to put God into a box. We say "Okay I'll trust you…but only to a certain extent. Then it's just too hard or insane." What growth do we experience if we play it safe with God? God calls us out for a reason. He's not going to let us fall.
The second song says:
I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You
Change me from the inside
I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down
But you have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I'll go where you lead me Lord
So yes, we can stay in our comfort zone. We can stay right where we are and be in the presence of God. Is there anything wrong with that? Not necessarily, no. But that's not what God wants for our lives. God doesn't want us to be comfortable. If we stay in our comfort zone, we don't need God. If we stay in situations that we can handle on our own, we don't need God. God wants us in situations sometimes where we have no choice but to rely on Him because He is the only one who can get us through it. God will prove Himself every single time if we would give up our safety nets and let Him catch us.
Or as one of my favorite people once said, "God is more concerned with our holiness than our happiness."
Every single one of us is being called out of our comfort zones by God to glorify His name and to grow spiritually. Whether that be traveling to 11 countries in 11 months or talking to someone you'd rather not and loving on them when you'd rather ignore them. Both are equally important and life-changing uncomfortable situations that require a leap of faith.
I've been asked by several people if I'm scared. And the answer to that is yes of course I'm scared, but to me the scariest part is right now. Fundraising for me is so beyond my comfort zone. Traveling the world I'm pretty confident I can handle especially since I'll never be on my own…like ever. Choosing to begin this journey knowing how much money I have to raise is the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken in my life. It's an emotional roller coaster. It's a daily surrender to let go of pride when I feel like the most annoying person on Facebook…and real life. It's a constant struggle to remember that this is not about me. It's fighting discouragement when I still have about $2,700 to raise in basically 2 days.
I am uncomfortable and I have never needed God to show up more than I have at this moment in my life. And that's a good thing.
