Hello Everyone
It has been a while! I have been in this weird place and just felt so discouraged. I KNOW that God has called me to do this but the pressures of the world and the little voice of doubt were constantly battling my mind. Not for a second have I thought that this was not of God, or that I misinterpreted what Christ was calling me to. I think I just got in a rut and needed to realize it so that I could cling to him fully and let that pull me through the fear and the doubts that I let myself grow from not fully clinging to him through this entire process.
I know that from the second I heard about this trip to the praying and the applying and getting accepted to the preparing the PUNK is out to get me. He is out to bring me down, he is out to discourage me and he will not stop! I know that I am listening and fully pursuing Gods calling in my life in a mighty way when Satan is constantly trying to pull me down! He sees my fire and my passion that I have for Jesus Christ and the calling he has placed on me and wants nothing more then to try and destroy this plan.
I have to rise above! I have to stay strong! I have to have strength in HIM and not only rely on myself! God is an amazing and GREAT God! He is so happy with me for carrying out what he is calling me to! While I may see that my funds aren’t where they need to be (where I THINK they should be), or that my items I need to purchase for this adventure aren’t purchased yet, HE has me. I am right where he wants me to be! I need to constantly trust and remind myself how much he loves me!
He has given me the best squad! These people are all so passionate about the calling God has given us and we are all in this stage of preparing and building each other up when we get discouraged. Just thru sharing salvation stories and the process of how God called us to where we are we have formed great bonds. Its beautiful to see God at work already in a mighty way helping us to have these connections and helping us to grow closer together through something so common as a Facebook group. God has placed us all together for a very specific reason. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. We all have different personalities and things that maybe drive us more or have made us who we are, but yet we all can still bond in our love for Christ and the calling he has put on our heart! It is so amazing to see how we are all connected and similar and then how where some are weak others are strong and its just this huge community of believers that have never even met, but have relationships bc of Gods great love for us!
When trying to raise a little over $16,000 its sometimes difficult to stay positive and to constantly remember that God has you in the palm of his hands! I know all about being obedient and faithful and him providing and how I need to trust, but we are all human and we have weak times. I call these human moments! We all have them. Some last longer than others, and some mold us more than others, but we all have them. It is normal for there to be ups and downs in this process. It is normal for me to at times start to worry BUT as a christian and daughter of my heavenly father, I need to turn to Him. I need to remember in those moments and KNOW without doubt that even if it seems unreal, unrealistic, or impossible that HE IS GOD AND I AM NOT! This is His plan not mine. I am here to go where He guides and to trust for him to lead and not try to take over when times get difficult!
I ask for your pryers as I just go through each day! I pray that I be secure in my calling and that I have strength and faith in HIM. I pray that I let HIM lead me and not try to take control. I pray that I focus on preparing in my heart and mind and not just be so overwhelmed that I don’t give myself enough time to go to God. I also ask that you pray for my team! Together we have experienced trials and hardships and helped each other through. I pray that when more come up, because I know they will, that we can continue to grow stronger and closer together through Christ.
I am beyond grateful for all the help others have given and the kind words. Encouragement is HUGE in this process and I can’t tell you how thankful I am. Please don’t stop! 🙂 Just knowing I have so many praying for this and being encouraging is one of the biggest blessings I have experienced since getting accepted. I would also like to thank those of you who have donated funds! I am continually blown away with the money I am getting in and the support through those who want to get t-shirts!
Without all of your encouragement, prayer, kind words, and funds this wouldn’t be possible! Thank you for listening to God and providing for me and us in this process bc all of these things are SO very important! Until next time! Love y’all!
