When I was younger I used to go to the highest parking tower in Lafayette Louisiana and drive my car all the way to the top and leave the doors wide open with the speakers cranked as loud as they could go and worship! It was so amazing to me to be able to see my home town for as far as I could see and see all of it at one time. It always was exciting for me to think that I was getting as close as I could to God while worshiping Him! My favorite times to go were at night and sunset bc the view was always so incredibly beautiful and Gods handiwork in the sky has always facinated me. I usually went up there when stuff was going on in my life that I didn’t really know how to sort out or how to deal with but always ended up praying over the city bc it was always just completely clear from up there and so obvious that God brought me up there for more than just myself. I never told many people I did this, mainly bc I didn’t want to ever have to worry about “My spot” being used by others, BUT I did tell Jeremy Camp that I play his album up there and he thought it was pretty cool 🙂
Fast forward 8-10 ish years and I am now in Chiang Mai. Im in the middle of this HUGE city with beautiful mountains and a city thriving with its own unique culture! As I walked the city and rode a moped around it and through a bit of the mountains I had the urge to find a roof top somewhere and just pray into this city that is outwardly beautiful but inwardly suffering. I wanted to be able to pray over all the lost and broken and all those who have no idea what they are worth. To pray for every person stuck or under the impression that they have no way out or that no one loves them. I want to pray over every street, street corner, bar and alley here. I want my God to be known in the hearts of all these in need in Chiang Mai to be filled with a hope and a love that they FEEL stronger than anything they have ever known.
Everyday this past week we have a prayer walk for 2 hours and we rotated with one from the team taking a day and picking what/ where we wanted the team to pray or whatever in the time. SO when my day came I of course wanted to fill this longing that I know God has put on my heart of going up to the highest rooftop and declaring Gods love for His people in this city. I wanted to feel God in the wind on my face and hold my arms out praising our Father and praying over all I can see in this massive city. Thats what I envisioned our team doing. I thought that in having the freedom to shout out or yell His name and proclaim his truths we would be able to grow closer in that.
BUT… what we got was going all the way up to the 21st floor then trying to take the stairs up to the roof but finding out we are locked in the stairwell and have to go all the way down the stairwell to the lobby. We then tried the next building and went to the 21st floor and the rooftop area wasn’t accessible. We ended up staying on that floor and overlooking the city from larger windows they had on the 21st and 20th floor. I figured I needed to settle and focus on the view we did have from here instead of how I didn’t have what I envisioned.
Of course we still got to pray for all of the city. Of course we still got to pray for our team as a whole and for its individual members, but it just didn’t look like I thought it would. I couldn’t yell out just pray as loud as I could for the city and team from the rooftop like I envisioned. I couldn’t feel the wind on my face as I held my hands up and prayed to a Father who I know is waiting to reach all the lost.
BUT I also have to take a second and see that in a moment where it seemed like nothing I wanted to do was working out the way I wanted it to, everything that was on my heart for us to do we accomplished. Sure it looked different but we still did all that God placed on my heart for us to do. I was bummed a bit but then I realized that I got exactly what God wanted me to get.
The enemy will always be there to bring you down or to make you feel not good enough. The devil will take every chance he can get to dampen our spirit and to try to take our focus off of what God is trying to get us to see or do. We have to keep our eyes on Him and press on, even if it no longer looks like how we envisioned it.
