So I have survived a week of being on a women’s team . This may sound a little extreme but I truly was dreading this ever since I heard it was a possibility at training camp. I have never been a girl who works well with other girls. Sure I’ve had my few close girl friends over the span of my life but when you have all brothers and grow up with no girl cousins you tend to not mesh as well with girls as you do boys.
The world race has changed this for me. I have learned to be more real with both females and males and to be more open. I have learned that in the most unexpected ways God can bless you with relationships with others you never saw coming. Just as easily as you can get blessed with a great relationship or two that help to build you up and are completely God centered and all around good, they can just ass easily get taken away.
Now in this season I have been learning what TRUSTING and having FAITH in Him actually looks like. I have had to TRUST Him fully in the fact that He is in control and whatever He does is good. bottomline. no butts, no if’s. I have to have Faith in Him enough to see that He didn’t bless me in HUGE ways just so that I would suffer when He takes it from me. I also had to see it differently than Him “taking” it from me. I had to see that the relationships are still completely attainable and can function in a healthy way and still be good. A relationship can look different but still be fruitful and uplifting and there still be accountability. He wants us to be happy and He wants to give us the desires of our heart. We just need to trust Him.
Sometimes its just so much easier to say than to do! Word’s cannot express the love and appreciation that I have for my brothers and sisters who help me to see the areas I need to grow in and maybe even the areas I didn’t even realize needed addressing. This team that God has me on is a blessing. There is no other way to explain it! Yes its hard to tell the old season goodbye but I can’t focus on yesterday when God is blessing me SO much today!
I have laughed, cried, been real, been open and have chosen JOY so much more! Has it been easy? No, but honestly it’s been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I didn’t sign up for the race for easy though. I also didn’t sign up for the race to be comfortable. I signed up because I wanted to be challenged and I wanted to grow! I wanted to be stretched and I wanted to be broken. I wanted to GO where He said Go, and I wanted to exceed the “normal” of “knowing” who God is and living a life reflective of what i thought that was supposed to look like. I am getting EXACTLY what I asked for! I have had hard times where I have literally had nowhere to go but to Him. He has been piecing me back together from being broken and forming me into something He wants me to look like. It may be hard but it’s worth it. It may be the most challenging experiences I’ve had to deal with but I know that while I am walking through it I am ultimately walking to him. I am also trying to stretch myself because there are a LOT of things that I know but also am trying to BELIEVE. In every lesson He is helping me to be a better person and helping me to see myself the way He sees me. He is shattering the image I had of myself and piecing back together a image that is true. He is piecing back together and image that is real and not warped or damaged by all the lies and past hates I’ve had for and towards myself.
The relationships that I have been blessed with from my last season on the race have helped to make me into this new person that God is forming. As I grow closer and closer to Christ I am seeing that those relationships are always going to be a part of me and my life because they helped to make me the person I am going to be. I also have been able to see how important this next season of people are in my life. God has SO much more to do in me and through me. He has a huge plan for what this year is supposed to look like and I need to keep pressing into where He guides me. I need to keep striving to grow more in my relationship with Him and as that grows He will completely bless all other areas in my life. No matter the season, no matter the current lesson, He is my constant and should be the source of my joy! That is what I am working towards and I cant wait to walk through the rest of the race hand and hand with him guiding me, strengthening me, restoring me, giving me a hand when i fall so I can try again and helping me to see me as He sees me.
Thanks for your prayers and support! Keep the prayers coming please. Love and miss you all!
