I did something brave this week! Here’s a little back story-
I have always enjoyed singing but only admitted that I was a tiny bit good at it in certain contexts. I grew up in choirs where I had solos, and sporadically throughout my life have found myself on stage with a microphone. But I always somehow managed to shy away from anything that would even allude to me being “good” at it in the slightest capacity.
While the idea of the race looped around in my mind, I was starting to muster up the bravery to simply ASK what it would hYpOtHeTicAlLY LOOK like for me to be a part of the worship team at my church. I remember feeling so super nervous for my audition that I could hardly even sing 🙂 I had no idea how consumed I was with fear. How unfree I was and how much freedom there was for me to step into.
I sang, roughly, 2 Sunday’s a month for 6 months leading up to the race and I felt my stomach gradually tie itself into knots e v e r y t i m e. Consumed with fear and comparison. Doubting myself every step of the way. In-between those Sundays I had training camp for WR where I was given the roll of being (one of) my squad’s Worship Facilitators! This meant that I would create the space for worship to happen during squad events like debriefs and all squad months. I was excited to step into this role but sometimes found myself uncomfortable just thinking about it. For a lot of you, this may even be the first time you’ve heard about it because It made me feel weird inside to shed too much light on it 🙂
But within in the last 2 ½ months I have stepped into a heck ton of freedom and Wednesday night show cased that in a totally unexpected way.
My team and I were at a huge Christmas event where 300 homeless men and women would be fed and enjoy a Christmas program. When we walked into the auditorium to find a well-lit stage with microphones and instruments in place, I immediately felt it in me to sing. It took some encouragement from my team, but at 7:10, while everyone else was getting off the stage from our choir performance, I stayed on.
With no in- ears, no run through or mic check, I sang O Holy Night in front of a full auditorium. The funny thing is, looking back, I didn’t even try. The words just came right out of my mouth and I didn’t think too much about it. It wasn’t perfect by any means but It was a big deal.
One thing God has made clear to me is that these next 8 months are about me stepping more into this freedom. To step more into myself and find out what my voice sounds like without anyone telling me what to do. For me to stop shying away from my gifting and to take ownership of it. To confidently say that I not only enjoy singing but my voice is powerful and I plan to do a lot with it!
Thank you for reading along! On the 30th my team and I gear up and head to Lesotho!
Merry Christmas!!<3
