*The band looks around and keeps playing.*
I demand “Yeah, music stop everything stop. Let’s just do our voices”
*everything stops*
My voice is shaking. Everyone is staring at me. I’m stepping on their toes…
Let me tell you about last night.
Since last Tuesday my team and I have been loving and serving a young group of kids, ranging from 11- 24, from Louisiana. We had the privilege of traveling with them a few hours up the mountain to a very pour provenance where they built a home for a family and loved on the children through games and skits and duck-duck-goose. My team and I were there to support them by preparing all of their meals and it was such a joy to serve them and to see that side of things. It is so kind that the Lord divinely placed us together!!
They have welcomed us in and loved us entirely. They ask us questions and desire to know us personally and to hear our stories. They tease us and we tease them. We have also gotten to worship with them every night since they’ve been here and something really special happened last night.
My new friends invited me into their space and asked me to sing a song at worship. Kind of last minute, a little on the spot “but no pressure” 😉 I practiced with then some, got to know their voices and the keys and hadn’t fully decided if I wanted do it. I KNEW that If I went up there, I was going step on their toes. I could feel tension and frustration among the group and anxiety in performance. Through time and the grace of God those are some things He has and is actively working out of me. I went outside and talked to God and sang by myself for a few minutes and reconciled with the Spirit that I would sing and I’d step on their toes a little bit if he wanted me to and that It be for him only.
I sang trying to warm up my voice up, it cracked, I laughed and then I went inside and asked if I could open us up in prayer and in it said that the pressure is off. That this time was for the Lord and him only. We said amen and the band started. I stood a couple feet away from my microphone, waiting until I was ready, pausing with the Lord. Between transitions someone on stage mumbled something about being frustrated with the guitar strings and their performance. They continued to the chorus, shaking their heads at each other out of frustration/ embarrassment and then it happened.
I step up to the mic and say
“let’s do that part just our voices.”
*The band looks around and keeps playing.*
I demand “Music stop everything stop. Let’s just do our voices.”
*everything stops*
My voice is shaking. Everyone is staring at me. I’m stepping on their toes.
“Maaan this is how God wants it. No pressure.”
I tell them to “just. sing.” the next part with me and to not care what they sound like. We’re all singing the lyric “There’s no place I’d rather be but here in your love, here in your love.“
The band slowly, softly comes in.
We are entering a holy moment.
We’re all quite. The band is still playing, we don’t know what to do or what’s going to happen next.
I speak in the mic again and tell them to own their space and to sing their own song to the Lord. “If I start singing you don’t have to start singing. Just because I stop that doesn’t mean you have to stop that’s not how it works. This is your own space! Hum if you want to hum, sound bad who cares! Sit if you want to sit, stand if you want to stand, you can lay down if that’s your thing! Just own your space.”.
People start moving around, the atmosphere is shifting. There is freedom in their worship. My friend Elijah next to me on the piano starts speaking so much truth about the Fathers love. Saying that he wants to touch us with his love and we just need to receive it. He starts singing his own song of love to the Lord.
“We love you Lord. We love you we love you.” over and over again. I quickly found the harmony and followed his lead. We went on singing this simple lyric probably for 10 minutes, adding and adjusting as we went along. “We need you Lord, we adore you Lord, you’re easy to Love.”. The band dwindled down to my friend Christian lightly strumming on the guitar, following our voices. It was heav.en.ly and SWEET and spontaneous and we could have been there all night.
It was really special and i’m still thanking God for it all. Thanking him for giving me the boldness and a u t h o r i t y to discern an atmosphere and to invite his Holy Spirit. That he’s humbled and continues to humble me so that by him I can be raised up. Through him, I am allowed to ruffle my brother’s and sister’s feathers for a second in order to lead them into the divine peace that is worship.
My desire in leading others in worship is to bring a level of freedom that extends its hand to others and invites them into freedom. I desire for people to leave worship with a new understanding of the Father’s love for them.
Thank you for reading along!! Also!!! I go home in 83 days!! Woah.
My flight home costs a couple hundred dollars out of pocket.
If you’re feeling super giving and would like to support me in that way you can paypal me at the username – Malysanapoli@gmail.com 🙂
Thank you again! See you soon
