So apparently choosing a route to travel on the race can be a daunting task for racers. Some of my squadmates have shared stories of how they spent months of prayer, research, and even launch deferrals until they felt that they were about to embark on the perfect route for them. Being the control freak that I am, you would expect that I had done the same. But to be honest with you, I applied for route 3 because it was in the middle of routes 1-5 offered when I hoped to launch.
Not joking. I trusted that God would use me no matter where in the world I was and knew that if it wasn’t in his plan it wouldn’t work out. But here I am. Sitting in a cafe in the church/daycare/ministry office site of our host this month.
Thailand had always been a country I longed to visit simply because of the culture and scenery, so I was stoked to have the opportunity to serve this nation in month four of my race. I dreamed about working in bar ministry or sex trafficing, fixing up an orphanage, riding elephants, sending lanterns into a clear starry night sky, and hanging out with all of the beautiful people from the land of smiles.
Heading into this month, I felt really good. I thought that I had been filled well enough with God during our training at the end of the previous month to fix my fancy. Most of my prayers before setting foot in the fourth country on this eleven month trip were mostly me telling God how excited I was to begin doing everything I had planned on doing during my time in Thailand.
Obviously then, my first week of ministry has been spent doing office work; working on Excel until I want to stab my eyes out, organizing papers, and meticulously sorting through work permits. And, because God is a funny man, five of my teammates get to rebuild a playground for the daycare children to play on once school is back in session after the summer break.
I’m not going to lie, I was bitter. The one country that I had dreamed of doing ministry in was turning out to be the exact opposite of what I expected.
God knows that I’m not a beat-around-the-bush kind of girl, which is why I believe he put me in office work during my first week in Thailand. He wanted to show me that I’m really not as invested in him as I thought I was. Talk about a slap in the face.
If I didn’t get to ride elephants, build an orphanage, or work with trafficked women, would I still work my hardest with the happiest of hearts to bring glory to his name here in Thailand?
If He told me to move half way around the world to serve, would I lay down everything I hold dear in my heart and be obedient to my savior?
If God was all that I had, would I really be content? Could I whole-heartedly say that I had all that I needed?
I want to say that I would, without a shadow of a doubt, trust and obey Him. But if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure how willing I would be. You see, I have my life planned out; graduate school, marriage, babies, career. Serving in long term missions isn’t really part of my plan. It took me being stuck doing a job I had never dreamed of doing to realize that I really have no control over my life. Sure I can plan and organize and make a timeline of how I want my life to go, but in a split second God can take my cute little ideas and completely flip my world upside down. I may be a woman with a plan, but when push comes to shove HE is the man with THE plan.
And that is something I have learned to become truly thankful for. His plans will always be so much greater than anything I could ever come up with on my own. He wants to give me things that I, in my humanness, would never even begin to think to ask for.
My God is for me. He DELIGHTS in giving me the desires of my heart. Not only does he know what I want, but he also knows what I NEED. Just as Elizabeth says in Luke 1:45…
“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.”
At the end of my very temporary life, I want to stand empty handed in front of Jesus and say that I gave everything I had to the plan he laid before me. I long to be able to say that not only did I have enough of him, but I couldn’t get enough of him until I met him face to face. Please pray that I would continue to walk in obedience with him; Not only for this month or my time on the race, but for the rest of my life.
THANK YOU to all of my supporters back home! Your prayers and emails/messages of encourgement and love truly brighten up my day. Please, please help me stay on this journey by supporting me financially! I am SO close to being fully funded, but I need your help getting there. Just click the “suport me!” tab on the side of my page (:
