Refuge. A word I felt the lord whispering to me early one morning as I sought his eyes for Thailand. My team has been working in an orphanage for kids with HIV, but because of the Coronavirus, we haven’t been able to interact with them so we’ve been doing some manual labor and making jump ropes and pencil bags for their samaritans purse project. The lord has been showing me his heart as a refuge for these kids that have been abandoned and have now found healing and hope. One of my favorite places here has been the roof of our hostel that overlooks the city where I can talk to the lord and pray over Chiang mai. I’ve wrestled with the lord on this roof a lot here. Moving to Thailand hasn’t been easy. There’s a lot of darkness here and moving from such a simple and quiet pace of life in rural Africa to a big city with noise, advertisements, stores and restaurants everywhere, and a heavy air of consumerism in a matter of hours left me in a place of confusion. As I felt the heaviness of the brokenness all around me, grasping with the prostitution that takes place in the red light district around the block from our hostel, Thailand being #1 in the world for sex tourism, the shrines and idols of Buddha at every corner, I felt like I didn’t know how to connect with the lord anymore, like I couldn’t tune out the noise and distractions and brokenness around me. It took a few days of what felt like wandering aimlessly grasping for answers until I felt the lord’s overwhelming peace one slow and sweet morning just like I used to have in Ethiopia. He told me “I am your refuge.” I immediately thought of psalm 16 where david is rejoicing in a life of companionship with God –
“keep me safe my God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the lord, ‘you are my lord; apart from you I have no good thing’… lord YOU ALONE are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the lord. With him at my right hand I will not be shaken.”
The Lord is teaching me how to find my refuge in him. He’s teaching me how to share in his comfort and peace so I can love the people of Thailand and pray they can find the same comfort and peace in Jesus. In the midst of chaos and instability, the lord is my only constant. We’re only in Thailand for two and half more weeks and then we move to Malaysia. Then a month after that we move back to Thailand. Then a month after that I move home. I’ve cried out to the lord asking him, “why am I here? There’s so much brokenness, what can I possibly do in a few weeks?” And yet, even in my frustration he meets me in grace and whispers to me gently – “I am your refuge. And I am their refuge” Hes my constant, my source of peace, and I believe that’s why He brought me to Thailand. Because the people here need a refuge, a comforter that isn’t in the fleeting desires of this world, and if I can simply pray for this city and it’s people and love them like Jesus as I go, I can trust that the lord is working in hearts beyond what I can see, showing them what a life lived in true peace looks like. Yes, Thailand has been hard, but it’s also been incredible. The lord is teaching me some hard lessons, but I love Chiang mai, and I love the people here; they are some of the kindest and most hospitable people I’ve ever met, and they desire to honor every person they encounter. I would really appreciate prayers for our time here – over the red light district, over the orphanage we’re working at and the samaritans purse project, and over the entire city of Chiang mai and it’s people. Pray that the lord would become the refuge of all people here, that they would keep their eyes on the lord and never be shaken. Thank you for reading this today, it means more than you know.
Til next time,
Mallory
