today, on good friday, i am overwhelmed by christ's love for me. i have to say that even though i've always known what jesus did on the cross for me and each of you, this is the first year that i am able to begin to see the reality of that. many times, the sequence of events that took place 2,000 years ago seem like a tragic "story". how thankful i am to know that god is working in me so that i am able to see and live in a new way, knowing that this "story" is not a story at all– but rather the ultimate truth that i have the opportunity to live my life by. the pain and suffering that jesus christ endured– so that we may have access to the ultimate source of love and life– is unfathomable to me at times. the greatest truth i have today is that my father has started a work in me and he will see it carried out. he has given me the greatest gift over the past few months– a yearning for him in my life…. and not just knowledge of him or understanding of his word, but a yearning for the real presence of the holy spirit.
we all have jesus living inside of us and we have the opportunity to access this amazing and beautiful, compassionate, peaceful, life-giving resource– yet, it is an untapped resource for most. it is so easy to think we are knowledgable about god and become luke-warm christians. this is all i've ever known– go to church, see and be seen, repent, talk the talk. i've repented with my words, but not with my actions. i've had glimpses of what really allowing christ to live in me can feel like, but it always seemed easier to settle and live for myself. i didn't even know it, but it was all about me. it wasn't about god at all. i was looking for something to fill a void or solve a problem, but i wasn't looking for a real live relationship. god wants to change that for me and for each of us.
he's put people in my life to challenge and teach me, he's put a willingness in my heart to seek him and know him more intimately, and he's given me a new set of lenses to see the gifts and way of living that are available to me.
as i continue to grow in my faith and walk with the lord, i hope that i not only start to see things differently and live out a lifestyle that pleases god, but i hope to allow the holy spirit to live in me and through me.
it hurts to think about how many times i get caught up in living for myself, praising myself for my good works or achievements, thinking about the things i'd like to do or the things i want. each one of us were made to worship our creator– with our thoughts, our actions, and every part of our beings. it's so difficult to do at times, but i continue to try, and each time i fall i aim to get back up and brush myself off– it's the only way to really live. what significance does this day hold for you, and more importantly– what will you do about it?
