"break my heart for what breaks yours…"
i'm just now feeling what that means. i have always had a compassionate heart, but tonight i felt god's pain and heartache for his people on a new level.
i just watched the film trade, and i can not explain to you everything that i am feeling in my heart and spirit. i am physically and emotionally sickened by the human trafficking taking place all over the world, and in most of our own hometowns or surrounding areas. think about it. the local children who have gone missing or been kidnapped are very likely living this unfathomable reality. there could be a basement full of girls in your very own neighborhood being held until their price is paid. it is absolutely terrifying. even in my own area, prostitution rings are in full operation selling preteen and teenage girls for sex.
i feel that god is stirring something in me and preparing me for the work we will be involved in over the next year. i do not understand how people can be so evil and disturbed, nor do i understand how such things must take place for the maximum glory of god. i don't yet know my role, but i am learning that when god softens our hearts & allows something to deeply affect us, he has a plan for us to move in that! it's so hard to not let fear overwhelm me as our departure approaches and i realize that i will be surrounded by the nightmare of sex slavery for much of our time in the field. how is it possible to see such horrible injustice and misery, and then continue to live my comfortable life? i want to be able to have joy and appreciation for god's many blessings in my life, but i want to give as much of it away as i can to those who have not been granted the same blessings. the journey and growth lies in finding the balance– living for god, but not living in fear and guilt. it's not an easy task, but i'm so thankful that my heart has been transformed. i pray i continue to grow and be obedient, continuing to discover the ways god plans to use me for his cause. i pray for change…. generations of morally pure & godly men who value and appreciate women, diminishing interest in and lack of financial support for the pornography industry, and justice for the innocent victims.
i am praying for god's peace and comfort tonight– for both my troubled heart and the many women and children who are living this nightmare.
watch this movie if you can stomach it. prepare to be outraged, disturbed, and sickened. let it convict you.
