Let me start by apologizing for not writing more often. For those of you back home who have supported me and loved me so well through this year, I never wish to make you wait and wonder what's going on with me and with my team's ministry. I’m just at a loss for words trying to write a blog this month. We left Chiang Mai, Thailand about 3 weeks ago, spent one week in Bangkok debriefing, and then came to Gua Musang, Malaysia about two weeks ago for month #9 of ministry. I definitely left a big part of my heart in Thailand~ it was very difficult leaving the women I was starting to build relationships with through our ministry at the bars. I feel like I had just gotten to the point in my friendships with them that I could really start pouring into them and sharing more about Christ– and then it was time to leave–time to leave them just like the “customers” who walk in and out of their lives constantly. It broke my heart to say goodbye. [However, I continue to fight for them in prayer, and God continues to do amazing things in that place. One of the bargirls we really covered in prayer has gotten out of the bars and is now working at the coffee shop owned by the ministry we worked with! Praise God!]
With all of that said, as much as I’ve poured myself into our work so far this month, I just haven’t developed the same attachment here. This month we are serving at a local resource center teaching English and music classes, tutoring, and serving in other various ways. I’m a bit hesitant to elaborate or write too many of my own personal beliefs or observations this month because of the Islam government in place here. I don’t know how much the internet is monitored, and our host also wishes to keep his religious beliefs under the radar. Malaysia is a Muslim country consisting of three people groups: Indian, Malay, and Chinese. We are located in Kelantan, the most fundamental Muslim state in the country, where a Sultan serves as the leader & figurehead of Islam. Before beginning our work for the month, our host explained to us that there would be absolutely no direct sharing of the gospel while here. He also advised us to keep our prayers and worship at a quiet level so neighbors would not become suspicious—they would be watching us closely. In the past there has been a government agent planted in one of the English classes to keep on eye on things and make sure there was no “ministry” taking place. I definitely feel like we are experiencing a different side of Christianity this month, especially after being in Africa for three months where we were encouraged to share as much Biblical truth as possible. First I was stretched to a new place of boldness in praying over others, preaching, and speaking truth. Now I’m being stretched emotionally by having to hold it all back and living how so many persecuted Christians must live.
teaching English classes at the center
Ministry is new for me this year, and it’s a work in progress living in the mindset of trying to exemplify Christ in all I say and do; I fail every day. However, without being able to talk about our religious beliefs with people this month, this is the only way we can witness—by showing the love of Christ through our actions and words. We can’t pray for people. We can’t encourage them with scripture. We can’t worship freely or listen to Christian music openly. I can’t even pray over my meal in a public place without worrying about who may be watching or listening. At the same time, it has been sweet to see the power of love and kindness in its simplest form. I’ve come to value the power of a smile, a hug, an encouraging word, and even a wave hello. People are literally shocked each day as my teammate Ben and I take our morning jog through town, waving and saying, “Good morning” as we pass by people on the street—they probably think we are complete lunatics, but that’s ok. It brings a smile to their faces, and hopefully it starts their day off in a place of joy and kindness.
Proverbs 15:30 A cheerful look brings joy to the heart…
Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Since I am under the authority of my ministry host and he wishes to keep his religious beliefs unknown to the public, I am willing to respect his way of serving the community, but it troubles me greatly to know that God has called me to spread his name to the ends of the Earth, and I’m missing the opportunity to do that here in Malaysia, a country consumed by Islam. What if God brought me here to share the name of our Savior with people who may never hear it otherwise? What if the precious children that I teach every day never have another opportunity to be witnessed to?
