Before leaving the states last year I heard the Lord speak to me. He told me to give away my savings (read more here). As I received confirmations that this is what I heard, I decided to take this year to continue seeking the Lord’s direction in that. I still needed to know what cause/ organization to give the money to. I knew I would see a lot of need in a lot of different places over the course of this time in the mission field, so I trusted that God would speak when it was the right time. By the time month seven was over and I was leaving Africa after being there for 3 months, I was shocked that I still hadn’t felt led to give the money. There was plenty of need, but I hadn’t felt called to any particular “project”. I started to feel a little guilty. Was I trying to avoid giving? Was I afraid to let go of this security blanket? Was I still actively seeking God’s voice & direction in this?
I definitely have a special place in my heart and calling for African children. During my third month in Africa, God spoke to me a lot about possibly building and opening an orphanage there in the future. I thought maybe I would find an orphanage to partner with or eventually open my own, and that’s where the money would go. I still had no closure & no idea when or where that would be.
This month, I was greatly moved by Heidi Baker’s book Compelled by Love. It wasn’t a new concept for me~ being the hands and feet of Jesus, loving people, having a servant’s heart, and making myself lower to gain more of God. But it struck a new chord. As I started to really do as Jesus would with each Cambodian child, I began to feel closer to God and to the children in front of me. I realized that these children deserve just as much of my love as the children in Africa. When the Lord tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt 22:39), he doesn’t give us the option of choosing those neighbors~ that love is meant to be for everyone.
I was deep in prayer one morning and the Lord told me this is the place & now is the time. Next door to our classrooms & home, our 28-year-old ministry host Vuthi (woo-tee) is about halfway finished building an orphanage known as Mercy Home. His vision is for a family-style home, where he will live and raise 12 girls & 12 boys as his own children. There are children here & now who need this home, this family, and this love. I have the resources to make that happen. Why would I withhold that gift from these children, these neighbors who the Lord is asking me to love as myself & as my own children? At first I was a little overwhelmed by the amount of money Vuthi still needed & the reality of it being time for me to give, but God is giving me the confirmations and peace I need. In fact, God gave me a specific amount to give to Mercy Home (it wasn’t quite what they needed but about ¾). The next morning in church, Vuthi asked us to join in prayer for Mercy Home and the funds needed; he announced that they had received a new donation and now needed X amount (the exact amount I had decided to give.) I even got to help do some work on the building including: sanding the entire building inside & out with small squares of sandpaper (no electric-sanders here) and moving a truck-load of boulders by hand. I can honestly say I’ve put some blood, sweat & tears into this place 🙂
I struggled with whether or not to share this turn-of-events with you all. After all, Matthew 6 tells us not to do our “acts of righteousness” before men, not to “sound the trumpets” for all to hear. However, I believe that the Lord wants more people with abundant resources to do as he’s asked me to do. I believe there should be more balance of resources between the overly wealthy (most Americans) and the rest of the world. I believe God desires more from us than a mere 10% of our income, and as Christians we should want to give more. We should feed the hungry, clothe the needy, pray for the sick, and love the person in front of us because it’s what brings us joy. It’s what brings our Creator joy.
Please trust my heart and know that I am not sharing this with you for any kind of reaction (positive or negative) towards me. This isn’t about me and truly it’s not my money anyways—it’s the Lord’s. All that we have is the Lord’s, but we don’t act like it most of the time. The reason I share this is to glorify God—to share the way his faithfulness and love are evident in my life– to share the way he started a work in me 10 months ago and he always intended to finish it regardless of how often I doubted him. I am selfish and materialistic much of the time, but the more I ask God to refine me and make me more like Jesus, the more things I do that don’t make sense to my human self. Through this act of love and obedience, the Lord is drawing me closer to himself. I am stepping out in faith more than I am comfortable with. I will have to depend on the Lord to provide me with a job, a place to live, money and resources when I get back to the States in less than a month because my savings will now be depleted. I’m learning to rely on Him and not my own strength, resources, or understanding. I ask you, I urge you, to do the same. It’s what the Bible tells us to do and it will be worth it.
“Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.” Mark 10:21
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth…but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven… For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21
Mercy Home (under construction)
