You know the days when you wake up, and everything just seems wrong? Well, Sunday was one of those days for me. Nothing was right. My sleeping pad wasn’t comfy and I was tired of the way my belongings were piled in my corner of the room. My morning cup of tea got cold before I could drink it. I struggled my way through my three chapters of Ecclesiastes and tried not to let my mind wander. The walk to church was long and hot. I had a headache all during the service.
I missed my bed at home. I missed driving our jeeps (on the right side of the road). I missed the snow and the cold. I missed my favorite coffee shop in Boston. I missed my friends, and I missed my family.
I thought about the fact that I will miss Sophie’s 13th birthday and I wanted to cry. I have never missed any of my sister’s birthdays before. It hit me that I won’t see them for another five months. Technically, I’m not even to the half-way point of my trip yet. I felt a pit in my stomach.
I started thinking, what on earth am I doing here? I’m in Lesotho, a country that most people have never even heard of, living in the tiniest house in the world. I am sleeping on a living room floor with seven other people every night. I have to wash my clothes by hand. If I want wifi, I have to walk 20 minutes to a restaurant, and even then the connection is questionable at best. I miss my family so much, but I can’t even get facetime to work. It’s boiling hot outside, and I can’t do anything but sit and bake in a room with no AC. Everything is horrible, I feel awful, and I have no idea how I’m going to make it another 5 months.
Don’t worry though. That day ended. I started a new one the next day, and I felt much better. Honestly, I love Lesotho and I have an amazing team. I don’t want to be anywhere else but here.
I wanted to let you all know about the rough day I had on Sunday, because I know that, online, my time on the race might look like a great adventure. It is an adventure for sure, but it is not all sunshine and butterflies. I usually only post things online when I have something to celebrate. I like for you all to see all the amazing things God is doing in my life, but I know that God also works in the messy days too. The days when I don’t know what I’m doing, I feel bad, and I just want to be home are just as important as the days when I’m filled with purpose and passion for my work here. Honestly, I have more of the bad days than I would care to admit.
Even though I have those days, I know that God is still God, and He has me in his hands. So, don’t worry about me coming home any time soon. I’m going to keep pushing through each hard day, because I know I am exactly where God wants me to be.
Please continue to pray for me. Your prayers have real power behind them, and I need all the help I can get. It may not seem like it to you, but your love and support means so much more to me than I can say.
Also, we all have bad days, whether we are in Maseru, Lesotho or back in the States. Know that, just as you support me, I am here to support you. If there is any way that I can be praying for you, please let me know! I don’t get wifi very often, but I will respond as soon as I can!
I want you to know that, even on your bad days, you are a dearly loved child of God. He knows the names of all the stars, but He also knows every thought you’ve ever had. He cares about your bad days, because He doesn’t want you to feel sad or discontent. He wants abundant joy for you. He loves you completely and unconditionally. So, as you go through the rest of your week, know that you are so loved no matter what kind of day you are having.
Grace Be With You,
Mallory
