It’s officially month ten! And blogging has become harder haha! Thank you to those of you who helped me write this blog by providing me with amazing questions! I hope you enjoy!
What would you have packed more of or less of?
I honestly can’t think of anything. Believe it or not, you can find just about anything you need on the Race. If you can’t find whatever you need in the store, there are probably going to be people on your team who will love to help you out. 🙂
I packed about 20 pairs of undies and it was one of the greatest decisions. Also, American deodorant is hard to find in some countries, so if your in to that sort of thing, bring extra.
What is the one thing you packed that you use most/ would have been lost without?
Again, you can just about find what you need around the world. But a really good sleeping pad is important. A lot of people have holes in them or have popped, but mine has held up pretty well. (Air rail from REI) another thing would be the cool max insect guard sleeping liner. It’s a sleeping bag liner that repels bugs. And it totally works. Some teammates didn’t have one, and they would wake up with mosquito bites. But those of us who had the liner, almost never had any.
** I had my mom bring me a Kavu at PVT (parent vision trip) and I wished I would of had it at the beginning of the race. It’s just so convenient and can hold your essentials really well. I can even fit my laptop in it. 🙂
What is something you really worried about when you first started and now wish you wouldn’t of worried so much?
Everything. Literally I was worried about everything. Did I pack too much? Did I not pack enough? Training camp? What even is that? What if our team doesn’t work well together? What if they don’t like me? What if I come back the same person? What if I don’t change? I have no skills or anything that really qualifies me to go do this. Am I really called to do this?
ya’ll, I was scared and worried about everything. I was even worried about what I would be doing when I came home before I even launched.
**The sooner you let go, and trust that God is in control and calls all the shots, the more freedom you will be able to walk in.
What do you wish you would have done or prepared yourself for better?
There is only so much you can do to prepare yourself for a year of things that are completely out of your control. Haha Training camp was honestly the best thing that helped me prepare for the WR. But other than that, I think starting to pursue people on your squad will be helpful in the long run.
What has been the best part and the hardest part?
The best part is the community you’re with. It can also be the hardest part.
Community is hard and completely a choice you get to make everyday. The more you choose into each other, your mimistry, and what the Lord is teaching you, the more you will gain from this journey.
What do you wish you could of told your self at the beginning of the race now that your almost done?
I would have told myself to calm the heck down. And that this is where God wants me. That my life is about to change forever, and I’m going to know God’s love more than I ever have before. Let go, rest and trust in Jesus, and enjoy the ride.
Describe the race in one word .
WOOF.
On a more serious note….
Intimate.
Intimacy.
Into me see.
This will be a journey of opening up your heart to the Lord and others, allowing them to see and know all of you, and knowing and seeing all of them as well. It’s the hardest most beautiful thing.
What do you wish you could tell future racers ?
Future racers–you guys are awesome. You’re my heroes. And what you’re about to step into is going to change your life forever. But it’s going to be hard. Really hard. There are going to be days You’re really going to have to choose joy and to love when it’s hard. To love when it hurts. There are going to be days that you are so done and you want to check out. But. You are also going to laugh more than you ever have. You’re going to meet the most amazing people. You’re going to experience joy like never before. You’re going to experience Jesus on such a deep level that makes all the hard stuff worth it.
**Let having intimacy with Jesus and bringing kingdom be your reason and purpose for everything you do. Let it be your reason for your Yes to this crazy adventure. God called you to do this. He believes in you. I believe in you. It’s time to believe in yourself.
Would you do it again ?
Absolutely!! In a heartbeat!!
What has been the most eye opening moment ?
This is kind of a hard question because I have literally learned SO much this year…more than I ever imagined. And so I think every experience has been an eye opening moment. But the one that sticks out to me the most right now, the moment that kind of made a difference in the rest of my world race experience, was when I was in India. I was in the hospital for a week or so with dengue fever. I was constantly in so much pain, vomiting, and sobbing, coming in and out of consciousness. My team at the time not only went to ministry during the day, but they would also each walk a few miles a day to take turns staying with me. They loved me like Jesus so well when I was at my worst in every way possible. And the Lord honestly taught me so much about His love and character through them. But after being released, I was in so much shame and was depressed because I didn’t feel like I deserved the love they showed me. I felt like I was a burden for them, and like they were annoyed by me. (Obviously lies) I basically wasn’t receiving their love. I was trying my hardest to push them away and let them know I didn’t need them. And then the Lord showed me something.
I reject people people before they will ever have the chance to reject me. The Lord showed me how this was self protecting myself from really experiencing the fullness of his love, and the fullness of life. I came to this realization that people actually like me and want to love me. People actually want me and they want all of me. Including the ugly parts. I know that sounds crazy, but it was the moat amazing thing how my eyes were opened to so much more love and freedom. Once the veil was removed I was able to walk more in my true self without fear of people not liking me. This moment really brought so much freedom to my heart and mind and made a difference in my relationship with the Lord and ministry with others.
What is the best thing about working with your team?
Literally everything. I freaking love my team and I’m not just saying that. The thing is, loving people is a choice. Choosing to love your team is a choice you get to make every day, but for me it is an easy one. I love how different people are and the unique gifts and talents that each person brings to the table. I learn something new from these crazy amazing people every day. My team pushes and encourages me to be more like Christ, and they also choose to love and be for me everyday, as well. It’s a beautiful thing when as sons and daughters we come together in one accord to pursue the Lord, each other, and the people we meet.
Can you describe how much closer you feel to God?
Gosh. I have seen and experienced the Lord in such beautiful ways on this journey. The intimacy I have with Jesus is something that makes me even more hungry for him everyday. I am never satisfied, never fulfilled, without having full communion with him. Being on the race has created space for me to learn to listen for God’s voice and really, truly, develop an intimate, seen and known, relationship with him. I’m realizing now how hard it is to find the words to explain it–all I know is it makes me hungry for more of him, and eager for other people to know him so sweetly, so deeply, as well.
Describe yourself now compared to how you saw yourself before this adventure began.
Before the race, I saw myself trapped inside this prison of shame, guilt, and unworthiness.
Now I see myself in green pastures, clothed in white, dancing in freedom with my beloved Jesus.
And I still fall short. I still struggle. But my shepherd still pursues me. And his love is what gives me freedom.
How do you feel that your life has changed or impacted the ones that have been with you this whole time on the trip of a life changing experience? What is the first thing that comes to your mind?
My life has changed because now I KNOW Jesus. And I want to spend the rest of my days knowing him more and more, and making him known to all nations.
As for the question of, “how have I impacted others?”…..
This is a question I have wrestled with the Lord a lot as I reflect on this journey as it is coming to a close. I may not have seen the girls I spent so much time with rescued from prostitution, I may not have seen how sharing my testimony countless of times brought healing to someone else’s story, I may not have seen the little girl in a red dress like she deserves, instead of her torn rags, I may not have seen how painting, sanding, staining, shoveling, or sweating in the sun really impacted the kingdom. But what I do know, is that what the Lord has done for me, he wants to do for others through me. He has loved me, sweat for me, prayed and fought for me, crowned me with joy and clothed me in white, pursued me and danced with me in freedom. And that’s what I strived to do with every person I met. I may not see the fruit of the seeds that were planted, but God is so good that I know he is sending people to water and feed and prune the gardens we started together. I’m just a small part of the impact that the Lord is working in the lives of those we met this past year. But what a joy and honor it has been to prepare the soil, or plant the seeds. What a privelege it has been to colabor with the Lord in bringing kingdom to the world. In bringing heaven to earth.
