My time here in Swaziland has been the hardest emotionally and spiritually. Although, I feel like over the past two months I am now more grounded in my faith.
When we first arrived in Swaziland I was excited and a bit nervous for what the next three months were going to look like. I started off strong for a couple weeks and then I felt like I failed miserably after that. I was believing every lie the enemy told me and wasn’t confident in who God says I am. I realized that I still needed healing for things that happened in the past, and I needed to walk in the freedom of Gods grace and love. I beat myself up about this for the first month here and was confused on who I really was. It felt like I was going through an identity crisis.
I talked to one of my leaders here about how I felt like I had no foundation because I was believing the lies from the enemy. She encouraged me and said that just because we are in a dry season doesn’t mean that God isn’t working in my life. One of our hosts here also encouraged the squad that even if we aren’t seeing fruit produced, the soil hasn’t changed. In other words, in hard situations when we don’t see the result of the Father working in our lives it doesn’t mean that we don’t have a firm foundation in Him.
This is something that I have been focusing on for a while. He is still the same God in every trial we face and the soil that our seeds/trees are rooted in doesn’t change.
So through this time where my faith was being tested and I felt like my foundation was being shook, he was still there all along because He doesn’t change regardless of the season I’m in.
