This was my journal entry the other day. So many things have happened at home while I’m thousands of miles away from some of my relatives passing away to tragedies in my hometown. My heart is heavy and as I continue to pray, I feel like someone needs to hear this:
It’s difficult to trust the unseen. To walk by faith into the unknown knowing that anything can happen. It’s even harder when you have already experienced so much hurt. When you’ve begged God to heal. When you’ve asked time after time for a miracle and are left feeling empty-handed. When you put your salvation on the line just to see if he will move.
Why doesn’t he answer our prayers when we want Him to? Why does he make us wait? Why is there so much pain and hurt involved?
So many of us have asked these questions in our Christian walk or maybe you’re not a Christian, but in times of desperation you cry out to a God you never talk to but are hoping that he answers. Some people have walked away because of these questions. Because how can our God be a good God that allows so much hurt?
After saying all of this I wish that I had an exact, definite answer of why. But I still don’t. These are things I ask myself quite often. Especially when times are hard or I don’t understand why my God let’s certain things happen. I can say though, that one thing always remains true. Our God is faithful (2 Timothy 2:13).
Our God has never failed and never will. We may not understand everything and honestly how are we to? He is the God of the entire universe. He knows everything and is the creator of all things. He holds so much authority and power. I really don’t think if he explained to us in every detail our “why’s” that we would completely understand. Or we probably wouldn’t be satisfied because it’s not what we wanted to hear.
We can’t put expectations on our God and expect him to live up to them.
We will quickly be disappointed. This idea of trusting in the unknown is risky. It might make you feel uneasy at first. Like you are being stripped of all your comforts; wondering is this even worth it? Yet, many Christians lose their life daily because they know that following Jesus is worth it all. Every insecurity you hide behind being ripped from beneath you. But you are still covered.
Covered in grace. Love, in peace, assurance, promises, and the blood of Jesus.
Why? Because He loves us (Romans 5:8). I used to get so angry when I asked God my “why’s” and he would say “because I love you.” It’s not enough, I need more. I want the heavens to part and a huge revelation comes that answers all of my “why’s.” Why wasn’t the love of God enough for me? Why wasn’t Jesus dying on the cross enough for me? Because I wanted an answer that I understood. I wanted something that felt right. I wanted something that my human mind could understand. But that’s just it. Even if he gave me an answer for everything that I asked, I would never be satisfied. I would pick and choose what I wanted to hear. I would decide what feels good and what doesn’t. I’d pick the answer that would make sense here on earth. Our God is a God of promises (Isaiah 41:10). Our emotions cannot dictate our faith.
He may not give an answer, but He gives peace (Isaiah 54:10).
