I came back from training camp I guess you could say on a “spiritual high.” I was filled with so much joy. Ready to go after everything the Lord put in my path. I felt invincible, like nothing could stop me. Not because of my own strength, but because I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. After camp things started to slow down. Eventually I was back into my day-to-day routine. I miss being surrounded by 280 worshipers, leaders, on fire for God, born again Christians. I miss the atmosphere I think the most. As things began to slow down so did I, and it didn’t feel good at all. It felt like the world was against me, one thing after another. I told myself nothing was going to steal my joy. Fear, anxiety and doubt have all tried to take the place of it. I felt like hiding. I felt like hiding from it all and choosing to let it take over me. But I have chosen to stand instead. I am not going to allow the enemy to tempt me as I sit and just take it. I am choosing to stand. I am choosing to keep my head up, to step out and keep walking in the light.
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12
When the enemy is attacking every weakness, sometimes I do feel like giving up. I hate admitting my struggles and I find it hard to turn to God. And that’s exactly what Satan wants. He wants us to feel shameful for what we’ve done, and he wants us to believe that God won’t forgive us. I am reminded repeatedly that our heavenly Father left the ninety-nine to find the one. To find the one hurting. To find the one struggling with forgiveness. To find the one dealing with addiction. He truly wants to find us, right where we are at.
I’m working on vulnerability and it’s not the easiest for me. But if what God is doing in my life has an impact in someone else, its 100% worth it. We are all human. We all make mistakes, but don’t let mistakes keep you from turning to God. Crazy how he created us, knows everything about us, to the very hairs on our head…and yet he still chooses to pursue us. That right there is mind blowing to me. I felt like the Father was telling me to share this because it’s just straight up real. This is real life. We’re imperfect people. We are going to experience good and bad days. The enemy is going to attack us with everything he can. We can choose to sit and accept it, to rest in defeat; or we can choose to turn to God. I hope you make the decision to follow God with me. He’s crazy awesome.
Please feel free to contact me with any questions or prayer requests. I’d love to pray for you.
