Almost a year ago I felt God calling me to go on the world race gap year. I was so excited to gain new experiences and be used by the Father to advance the kingdom. When I said “yes” it wasn’t difficult for me, but “yes” is only a word. Stepping out in obedience had to follow. I went into this with no expectations just ready to jump into uncomfortability.
Now only being here for over a month, I’m dying. It’s a good death though. It’s a death that makes me more like Jesus. Death to my flesh. Dying isn’t fun, it’s not supposed to be. It can hurt and be painful, but it’s also a beautiful thing. We live in a sinful world that worships the flesh instead of praising the Spirit. This daily struggle between the flesh and the Spirit is something we all deal with. Our flesh is the easy way out, but choosing to walk with the Spirit is transforming.
Obedience isn’t a one time thing. It’s a continuous process that pushes you to surrender your old self into who God has called us to be. I didn’t think I had a pride issue until God revealed it to me these past 2 months. Have I conquered this struggle? Nope, but our Father has. He has already won the battles we are fighting. Victory is in His name and he has given us authority over our mountains that we think are unmovable.
I am a work in progress and I always will be. The cool thing is, I’m still a child of God. I have always been and will always be. We all are children of God. He is where our identity lies. Not in pride, lust, our significant other, depression, pornography, eating disorders, or sickness.
I’m thankful that I have the most amazing teammates and squad mates who show me love even after being vulnerable about my struggles. I don’t think it’s because they’re being nice, but because they know where my identity lies. God wants all of us to die to our flesh. What is something you need to die to? Ask God to show you what you are finding your identity in. He loves us way too much for us to be comfortable in our flesh.
I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now life in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loves me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died for nothing. Galatians 2:20-21
Also we are going to Myanmar instead of Malaysia! After Guatemala we will go to Thailan, Myanmar, then Thailand again over the course of 3 months. Thank you again for all of the prayers and support!
