“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Matthew 18:21-22
This life is not my own. I constantly remind myself of this. Knowing that in my unworthiness, God still calls me worthy. One thing I have a hard time accepting is grace. I was struggling the past couple weeks with loving those around me. I was praying and asking the Lord to give me his heart for others and position it to give grace to others. I was frustrated and confused of why it was so hard to just give grace. In the midst of praying he spoke to me and said “Until you start receiving my grace, you will continue to struggle giving grace to them.” Wow a smack in the face. But a good smack. Thanks God.
When he told me this my eyes were immediately opened to when I hadn’t accepted grace in the past. I can say that he gives it to me, but I also have to choose to walk in the freedom of it. There is so much freedom in forgiveness and forgiving myself.
The second I don’t live up to the perfections I’ve placed on myself, it’s easy to want to give up. It’s easy to beat myself up because I try to live a life of impossible standards. The Lord is also teaching me that the only life I should live is a life that glorifies Him. I think a lot of times we get caught up trying to live up to standards society finds worthy when all God has called us to do is look more like Him.
