It is very hard to wait for God's perfect timing when you have decided you know what is best for yourself and try to do everything to make that happen.
Leaving in July 2012 was something I wanted, something I was trying everything in my own power to make happen. But it was not God's will and was not in his timing.
The first deadline came up out of no where and I had one month to get all my gear and two months to get all my vaccinations, plus another deadline just a month and a half after the first. I just could not do it.
I am now leaving in January 2013. I will still go for 11 months to 11 countries. And most of the countries will be the same! But I will not go yet and I will not go with the beloved G squad.
I am sad that I will not get to go with G squad, but (if I have done my alphabet right..) I will leave with the M squad in January Route 1. G squad will always have a place in my heart. There is enough in there room for both squads! 🙂
I was so stressed out trying to make the deadlines and having to do so much with vaccinations and getting all my gear. I was so worried with where the money would come from. (If you know me, you know I rarely ever stress out about anything!)
Leaving in January gave me such peace. But I was asking for some major confirmation from God. I didn't want to let the door close on July because I didn't want to mess up and miss out on what God wants me to do. But I realized I will be used no matter when I go and I will be able to glorify God on any of the routes.
The peace I was given was enough confirmation for me. Until I was talking to one of the girls in G squad about this. We were going to ride down to training camp together with a few other girls too. She said that as she was praying for me she kept feeling in her spirit that this was not where I needed to be and kept hearing January. She felt that if she had said anything it would have upset me. She was right. But since she waited until the right time to tell me, which was when I was telling her I will not be joining her on this journey, it was the confirmation I was asking for.
Also, I can't forget I have only been a real, born-again Christian since May 10, 2011. There is still a lot of growth that needs to be done in me. And I think God has closed the door for July because I am just not spiritually ready yet. Which is a very humbling thing to have happen. Where one door closes another opens. January 2013 is where I am supposed to be.
Please do not get the wrong message here. I am very happy with leaving in January! Am I sad I cannot leave in July? Well, of course. But the stress was wearing me down. And, now, I have an additional 6 months to prepare for this, now that I know what I am getting myself into.
I am still raising support and doing as much fundraising as I can! (If you are already supporting me thank you! And just so you know all the money is still with me so nothing was lost!)
You can still support me by clicking the button that says Support Me! I appreciate everyone and would not be here had you not been supporting me already.
Thank you all so much and I love each and every one of you!
Malerie
