“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and go the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20
At the beginning of training camp I was told “The next ten days are SO packed with information that by the end you won’t even know what happened.” Now that I am home I realize, that this was one of the truest statements I heard all week.
I learned more about discipleship, surrender, worship, and community just in these ten days than I have in my whole life. I learned how to make my faith my own and that intimacy with Jesus never ends. I learned that I do not live for God’s approval, but from it. I learned that God loves me just the way I am, but loves me too much to leave me the way I am. I learned about Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism and how to minister to someone who believes differently than me by creating a relationship. I learned that God will never treat me like any less than a daughter of His kingdom. I learned that God IS grace and that grace will never keep a record of wrongs. I learned how to express God through art. I learned that my story matters. I learned how to give the Holy Spirit habitation rights instead of just visitation rights. I learned that sometimes I need to just sit back and let God do His thing. I learned that it is impossible to walk in a greater amount of freedom than I have forgiveness.
The list of things I learned could go on forever. But one thing that I learned that really affected my heart is that God will NEVER ask me to give up something and then leave me with nothing. About a month before training camp, I was asked by God to give up something so important to me. Something that I treasured with my whole heart. After a while of hesitation and doubt I followed through with what He was asking of me. Giving this up completely broke my heart. I couldn’t understand why God had asked this of me. All i could see coming from it was heartache. Throughout the entire week of training camp I prayed harder than ever for God to show me why He asked me to do this. I kept asking Him to show me what good was supposed to come from it because I couldn’t see any. And then, during worship one night, a girl, who I later met and learned her name was Kyla, got on the stage to share a vision she had just been given from God. She shared,
“I had a vision that I literally placed my heart in God’s hands and he dropped it on the ground, letting it break into a million pieces. I was in shock and taken back, ‘What the heck, God? Why would you do that?’ And in the broken pieces He picked up a little black ball that had come out of the center of my heart and he said ‘I’m so sorry that you don’t understand right now. But I had to let you break down to get to that darkness in the center of your heart. I know your heart is broken but I am right here to put the pieces back together. You just have to trust me and let me heal you.”
And when she shared that, I broke down into tears. I knew that God had asked her to share her vision so that He could get to me. We can’t always see what God is doing. But at camp I learned that even when what He is doing hurts, it’s always for our good. We just have to trust His process.
Training camp made me so much more excited to take on the World Race Gap Year than ever! Getting to experience God with my team, being placed in a group of 300 people who have the same passions, mindset, and goals as me, and constantly being encouraged made me realize just how present God is. I am so thankful to have been given this incredible opportunity. And now the countdown begins…I have 48 days until i begin the process of moving to Guatemala.
My trust in God has never been stronger.
