In a little less than two weeks, I go to training camp. I wish I could say that I have spent the past month preparing emotionally, spiritually snd physically. But I can’t. In fact, I’ve done the opposite. I’ve gained weight from candy and lack of exercise. I’ve not been intentional or consistent in spending time in His word or with Him in prayer. I’ve fostered an unforgiving heart (for both myself and others). I’ve succumbed to temptation and fallen into some sins I’ve struggled with in the past. Things haven’t been looking good guys. I could tell you only the good things I have done. I could omit my failures. But how would that glorify God? 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
I am not proud of my weaknesses and failures, but if Jesus’ love and grace is shown through them, I will share them. Because, as much as I’ve done wrong, God has done more right. My sin (all of it, every last stinking bit) is not bigger than Jesus. In fact, He has been here every step of the way to help me deal with it.
First, He used conviction (several times) to ensure I knew I was in the wrong- yep, He made me feel it. And it hurt. Conviction is kind of like Jesus showing us what it feels like to God when we sin against Him (though obviously not as strong). It hurts Him, and if we have that pain from conviction, it can help to stop us from doing it again.
Second, He surrounded me with loving, supportive people to remind me that my failures do not define me, my belief and trust in Jesus Christ does. These people have heard my failures, have seen them first hand and they offer me friendship and love anyway. This doesn’t mean they told me it was okay to sin, merely that they told me to repent, forgive myself and move on without judgement or anger.
Third, He has spoken truth into me (through scripture, people, sermons, etc.). The truth that says when I gave my life over to Christ, He gave me grace. Grace that covers ALL of my sin (past, present and future). I didn’t become a christian because I was perfect or because I thought it would be an instant fix to make me perfect. I became a Christian because I realized how broken I was and how much I needed Him.
There is one person who has gone through life without sin…and I’ll give you a hint here, it isn’t me (or you either)! We’ve all fallen short of the glory of God. But He paid the ultimate price to be able to have a relationship with us. Does this mean I can go on sinning and just rely on the Lord to forgive me? No (though He will)! If I have Him in my heart, I wouldn’t want to do that. I know that it hurts Him. I would want to be better and do better. It just means when I mess up, when I let my ugly out, when I let my flesh win… God forgives me because He sees me as He sees Jesus. I don’t deserve it. I am not worthy of it. I, without Jesus, could never measure up. If I tried to earn my way into heaven, I would fail every.single.time. But thankfully I don’t have to. He has done it for me and His love is unconditional. He became man, withstood temptation and endured hatred, torture and mockery, died on a cross and was bodily resurrected to ensure that He could have a relationship with His people. He doesn’t stop loving me when I sin. He doesn’t leave me. He may punish me, He may make me feel conviction (He is a just God after all), but it’s out of love and He isn’t going to stop caring for me. He won’t turn away. He forgives me.
Because of His forgiveness, I have to learn to forgive me and to forgive others who have hurt me too. Holding onto that anger, hurts me and my walk so much. It’s just not worth it. And while I may have a hard time feeling like they deserve my forgiveness, God forgave me and commanded me to forgive them in turn. He loves me with a love that I cannot begin to fathom. And He loves you with that love to. If you are like me, you have a hard time forgiving yourself for things and sometimes you see yourself as totally unlovable. But I promise you, nothing you have is bigger than Jesus.
To my friends and readers who are wondering how you can give your life, sins and all, to Christ, this is how: If you believe in Him, if you are willing to admit that you need Him and that you know you are doing wrong (because we all are), He will joyfully enter into your heart. He will provide you with the same grace, guidance and love that He has given to me and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Once He is there, you will start to see a change in the way that you do things. You will feel differently about sin. You will still face temptations, sometimes you will give in to them and you will feel the pain of it. When that happens; repent, forgive yourself and move on.
This blog post is as much for me as it is for you. To remind myself what I’m telling (or reminding) you. I felt like God was telling me to write it, so maybe He wanted me to write it for you! Be encouraged today. None of us are worthy without Jesus. We all need Him.
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I am so close my goal guys! Only a few hundred more and I will meet my second goal of $10,000! That is insane! A little over 8,000 more and I will be fully funded and have my extra living expense/emergency funds! God has been so good and people have been so generous! 🙂
